Does she have feelings for me?
So a little back story is needed- I am a girl. In August 2015 my long term girlfriend broke up with me and I was devastated. Went back to uni in September feeling sad but a lot better than I did feel. I went back a week early and only a couple of my friends were there. one in particular lets call her Sophie. Sophie was amazing, she was there for me and a huge help, we had always been close but not as close as we became in that week. We spent a lot of time together and got to know each other really well. She told me things about herself that she says she's never told anyone else. I did NOT see this as anything more than a friendship.
So I told Sophie I had a date on monday (first day of term everyone is back). so i went for dinner with this guy and it went really well! Then i came home and got ready to go out with my friends as our celebration of being back at uni. We all got very drunk and went to a club. Me and sophie were dancing and buying drinks so both pretty out of it. She then proceeded to kiss me, a lot. It wasn't a friendly kiss it was a lot more than that.
I then put it down to her being drunk and not knowing what she was doing. then a week later on another night out it happened again..i was very confused so talked to her about it. she said she didnt know what she felt and she was confused. we had another night out 2 days later and she spent the whole night next to me, holding my hand, dancing with me, we walked home and kissed. So we decided to spend more time together and "see what happens". we went running every evening and spent a fair amount of time together. we held hands when we walked but we never kissed. One day I plucked up the courage to say I liked her and she said I love you. I was happy but things still weren't going anywhere. So after about 4-5 weeks of this I decided to ask what was going on exactly. she then said-she thought we had decided it would be better to just be friends, she said that she's been dating a guy at home and that we were friends. I was obviously gutted but she's my best friend so I hid it and said I thought we were more than that and i said i felt a little led on by her saying i love you and still seeing me everyday etc.
We still spent lots of time together but im aware shes seeing a guy at uni now. Fast forward to NYE. Ive moved on and having fun again and quite like this guy lets call him Bob. I had a party and Bob came and obviously Sophie came. To cut a long story short(er) Sophie kissed me again a lot. even though the guy shes seeing was at the party!! she has now said her and this guy are just friends- even though i know he doesnt think that. shes spending loads of time with me again and i dont know whats going on!! I obviously really like her but i dont know whether to say anything and try and work something out or just ignore it? I just need help on the whole situation as Im so confused!!
She knows you like her and is teasing to see if you'll take the first real step. She knows she can't lose. If you don't take the next step, she'll have the fun of the tease. If you do take the next step, she'll have to decide if she wants to take that step with you. But she doesn't want to be the one who decides that. She wants you to take that chance, of maybe taking the next step, and perhaps being rebuffed.
She's in the power position. Once there's physical contact, there is the emotional, also, and with it can come a good relationship or complications of, should we continue the relationship, should we also date guys, do we tell our guys about each other, etc.
I hgad forgotten what the physical can do until a female allowed me a feel, and I fell right in. In a week, she it for a loan, which she never repaid, and I realized the feel and the love you's were just a set up for, "My roof's got a leak in it, and everything will be ruined." She had abuse in childhood and had no feelings, and could delve into that for the profit motive, she was a real con artist.
So, the emotions follow after the physical. She's not sure she wants all of that. Maybe she's not sure you want all of that. She's asking you and you're asking her, do you want the emotions after the physical? And neither one of you are sure. You're both kinda cute. Enjoy it while it lasts. Those years don't last forever.
Thank you so much for your reply. im sorry to hear about your situation that is truly terrible
You seem to have hit the nail on the head with my situation. I literally feel powerless, i feel that we can keep this up for a long time and nothing will happen which i don't want because im in a state of limbo. But if i make the move will she shoot me down which i obviously don't want either!
i guess i'll never know unless i try but i don't know how to approach it due to the fact i have already asked her in october time what was going on and she said we were just friends. how can i take that step and make it obvious that ive taken it?
shes leaving to go back home in july so i want to get out of this stage of limbo and know whats going on because otherwise i fear i'll regret not trying for the rest of my life! i just dont know how is acceptable to try without pushing her away?
Interesting reply. One you dream of but often doesn’t happen.
You say you are powerless, and in a way you are. You know more about what's going on than I do. But in a way, you’re in the power position. You can take up her offer of “I love you,” and the kisses or not. She was the one who said, “I love you.”
That’s what this woman said to me, I said it first, but she responded to that. The way she did the physical was, she was at my house, and looking at some items on a shelf and trying to read the wording on one of them. I, of course, had to help, and was sucked in, almost literally.
I walked over to her, bent down also to look at the item, and realized I was about a foot from her. She had already told me she loved me, and I had said that to her a number of times. And here we were, a foot away. It was like a magnet. I held her close, nuzzled her, and when she didn’t object to that, I felt her up. And I was thinking the entire time, “She was sexually abused for years by her stepfather, she’s used to this,” and I kept playing with her.
I could feel her lips, and I don’t mean the ones on her face, and I played back and forth between them, as much as I could. My wife had died 6 years earlier, and this was like candy. I was in heaven. I don’t know how she was enjoying being felt up. Maybe you can tell me about that. After only a few seconds of bliss, she referred to me as a dirty person, and broke it off, much to my chagrin.
It was about a week later, she said her roof was leaking. She was like my daughter, and I waned to help her out. I couldn’t have guessed in 1,000 years that this was a complete con. She didn’t want me, in any way; she wanted some free money. I thought she at least wanted my friendship, and that’s all I wanted, mabe a feel every now and then.
So I gave her a limited amount of money, with her to pay it back. I didn’t hear from her, and called, and got a taped message. She didn’t call for a few days after that, and it slowly seeped in: the person I had helped for 6 or 8 weeks, was a con artist, with a hint being, she said earlier she owned a .38 caliber pistol.
She called a month or 2 later, and in 2 of those conversations said, “I had a drug dealer come up to me the other day and offer me some drugs, and said I could pay it back with sex.” Well, that was an open invitation for me to say, “Well, why don’t you come over here and pay back some of your loan with sex?”
But I didn’t. Why? I could imagine her coming over here and, and her boyfriend being a few steps behind, and when she walks in the door, he walks in right behind her, and I’ve fallen for the trick a second time. No way she’s coming back into my place.
Also, I talked big about it in my first letter above, but I have hesitancies, also. I mean, what if she did come over and do a striptease, and let me play with her and, and….what does that lead to? Are we an item? Is she using that to pull me in?
I’ve come to an conclusion, there is no such thing as free sex. It comes with a cost. I do think if ou'e emotionally close to someone, that the sex can be OK, but there could be some hardships.
As for the emotional, the day after she let me have a feel, I cleaned out my wife's closet of its many clothes. I hadn’t been able to do that for 5 years. But the day after the feel, I felt I was emotionally attached to this woman, and no longer to my now deceased wife. It just came over me. It was natural. The emotions were there, the physical was there, I was gone.
And I cleaned the closet out the next day, and gave the items away a few days after that. I had a completely different emotional outlook. From the physical. Did the emotional letdown hurt? Yeah. Did I regret the physical? No.
You said you feel powerless. I sorta did too with this woman, I wasn’t going to make a move until she did. I was truly trying to help her. She had been abused, and I did not want anything of that nature, I was trying to help her. However, when she made a move to get me close to her, and I was standing a foot away, and she did not move, all those good intentions crumbled.
As I then started thinking, she’s been sexually abused, she won’t mind this, she’s done this many times before, and I nuzzled her, and began feeling her up. And as I said, I could feel her lips, as I ran my finger back and forth between them, and I was in heaven. As I said, you can tell me what she was feeling, but I can’t.
So, if she’s kissing you, I’ll assume it was French kissing, and she’s told you she loves you, and your hand is about a foot from where it wants to be, I would say you have the power. I would say, play with her, breasts, between her legs, anywhere you want to play.
Even if she rebuffs you, you’ve still gotten a feel. It put me on cloud 9. And apparently, having been with other women, it does the same for you when you play down there, hoping it will lead to more, as I was hoping. I didn’t mind doing that with her taking the lead. Your friend was doing that when she was kissing you, taking the lead, inviting you to at least have a feel, even if she were to take your hand off of it after few seconds of fun, for both of you.
Again, even if that’s all you got, you still got a feel, and she got felt up, whatever that feels like for a girl, whether being played with by a guy or by another girl, and you would be the person who would know how that felt, and what it could lead to.
Again, whether that first move (had you felt her up)lead to more fun, no one knows for sure. But at least it could have led to some intimate conversation, in which she would later have a chance to ask her in private, “What did you mean by that? Do you want our relationship to go physical?”
And she could say, “Yeah.” And there you would be, in the living room, in private, just the two of you, and see what she does or says next.
If she starts himing and hawing, you could put your hand on her shoulder, and say, “I did enjoy the kisses.” If she starts to crumble, you could put your arm around her, and kiss her, a peck on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, a French kiss, whatever you think, whatever you can get.
If that’s OK, feel her tits for a little bit, then feel her up between the legs, hoping to get her worked up to where she wants it as bad as you do; remove her clothing, maybe playing with her through her panties, before taking them off, get down on your knees in front of her, and do what I would love to do. Get as much of her as you can. And then hope, pray, she reciprocates, as you get up on the couch, and open yourself up to her. And then tell me about it.
My wife wanted to do her college roommate, who used to walk around the room in panties and bra. I said to her, “Did you use to look at her pussy,” at such times, and she said he did. I said, “Did you hope she’d catch you looking at it?” She said she did. I said, “Would have eaten her if she had asked you to?” she said she would have. I said “Would you have kissed her on the mouth?” She said, “If I’d kiss her on the pussy, I ‘d kiss her on the mouth.” I said, “Would you have let her eat you?” She said, “If she wanted to eat it, I’d let her eat it.”
I think she finally got her wish, many times over, when one of the guys she cheated on me with, she told me he frequented strip joints. Well, I‘ve since learned that strippers are often bi or lesbian. Well, these two went together for 16 years. Well, how long would it take him, as wild as she was, she had over 2,000 outside the marriage episodes, to figure this out.
He could ask a stripper, if she was bi, and if so, say he had a girlfriend and would she do striptease for both of them in a motel room? He then tells this to my wife, and without him even knowing how much she wants such a relationship, if she would agree to that. Well, yeah.
And so, the stripper comes in, takes off some of her clothes, goes over to “Bill,” nuzzles him and plays with him a little, then goes over to my wife, and does the same thing, with her breasts hanging within an inch of my wife’s mouth. She then takes her hand and puts it on one of her tits and lets my wife squeeze it.
She then invites her to suck one, and it would be like a dream come true for my wife, and for the stripper, initiating a newbie. Then feeling her up, while my wife sucked on one of her tits. Then taking off my wife’s clothes, getting down between her legs, and both of them would be in heaven, with repeat performances in the coming weeks and years to follow, sometimes solo with just the two females.
While we were having sex on a few occasions, my wife showed an interest in the female who had just left from a visit, and we pretended she was making love to this female, using my mouth as the receptacle, which I gladly offered, getting my thrills also, and not just from her virgina.
She would lick my mouth in long, flat strokes, as she wanted to lick that woman. She would then suckle on her clitoris. She would then dagger tongue her hole, as I’m saying, “Aw, yeah, eat her, baby! Eat her sweet……..”
With a vibrator on her clit, she did this until she popped climax, when it was then my turn to cum with her telling me how much she wanted to eat her.
As pleasant as that was, I now believe she was describing, not how much she wanted to eat the female who had just left, but rather using that female, to relive and to convey to me that she had eaten a female. Oh, my Gosh! She couldn’t let me know, for I would have known who set it up, and I could have retaliated against that guy. She knows I would have loved to have heard that, that it finally happened after a near miss with her college roommate.
Just yesterday on the web, I saw two of those in action, and I was pretending it was my wife and a female stripper. Yeah, it was very satisfying.
You say, “shes leaving to go back home in july so i want to get out of this stage of limbo and know whats going on because otherwise i fear i'll regret not trying for the rest of my life! i just dont know how is acceptable to try without pushing her away?”
Yes, you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t make a play for her. You’re both young, you’re both pretty, it won’t last forever, as I told you in my first post above. That’s what I meant. This won’t last forever. This is the best time for this, the most exciting.
She’s told you, she doesn’t mind such a relationship, by kissing you. You’ve been in such a relationship, so you don’t mind it. There’s nothing to lose, both of you have already been in this type of relationship.
Start off by telling her you have feelings for her, tell her you enjoyed the kisses, tell her you hope she wasn’t teasing, that you have emotions, also. Maybe put a hand on her shoulder, maybe give her a kiss. Even if she rebuffs, you will have tried. Try again later.
If she’s kissed you, she’s had that before and she wants it again. Just as I did with the woman who had plenty of sex before, I said that to myself as she intentionally got us close together, this is nothing new to her, go ahead and nuzzle her and play with her. And I did, and I’ve never regretted it, and she hasn’t either.I even told her when she called back months later, how much that meant to me, I said, "I could feel your lips," and told her about the emotional impact that it had on me. I was saying, "Thank you."
It’s the same thing. It’s a female. And we both love to feel them up. Give her a hug, a kiss, and feel her up. You won’t be pushing her away, she’ll be flattered that you tried to make it with her. Your coyness and hesitancy is attractive, it’s feminine, it’s what she wants. It’s the "we aren't supposed to be doing this; we aren't supposed to be enjoying this," that makes it a challenge, but also makes it great.