Ex girlfriend / trying again / accepting
Well where to start! Me and my girlfriend of nearly 4 years broke up around 6 months ago, we was living together, she moved out but we remained in contact. There was always something there between us and to be honest i did'nt feel our relationship was worth giving up on. This is where it gets complicated...
Around 6 weeks after the break up she stopped replying to texts, would'nt talk.. Basically blocked me out of her life, the only time i saw or spoke to her was when I saw her family who I am very close to. Now this lasted for around four weeks when it started to change again, she said we should talk and agreed that I would pick her up after work, come to mine and talk.. We stuck to that, she came and to cut a long story short, after she had shed a few tears she told me that she had slept with someone else... But... realised she would always love me, I took it on the chin and said i would be there for her regardless and everyone makes mistakes ect ect, even gave her a cuddle to comfort her!
That takes us to around 4 months into the break up. For the following 3-4 weeks we saw each other a bit more, spoke, messaged each other ect, but because her family who she had moved back in with knew what was going on and about the other guy, it was all under wraps, she would come to mine, stay tea, we'd meet for coffee and do small things like that.. Nothing physical.
After an incident where she saw I was innocently having maybe slightly flirty banter with a female on FB and told me basically if I moved on she could'nt be friends with me! After what I had to deal with...
That takes us to around 4 weeks ago, where after this situation I was at her house and spoke to her, I told her that I had accepted we would never be together and that I knew I could never get her back, but felt like I'd lose a good friend who I loved if i moved on, not out of choice.. But because i felt I had to, she said ok and reassured me she would always be there although it would be hard for her to see me with someone else.
Now the twist comes in.. Around a week after that we were texting away and I was busy and did'nt reply to one of her txts where she said she needed to talk, a few minutes after not replying she txt me again putting "I just miss you sometimes thats all".. From there I returned the gesture, a week later (2 weeks ago) and after a lot of "I miss this, I feel this" txts between us both she came to mine, we watched a DVD and had a bottle of wine.. I wont elaborate on the events that unfolded that night, but I'd also like to add it was my birthday and I got more of a present than I bargained for! She has now told me that she wants to be with me and likes the situation we are in, it feels like we are getting to know each other again and are closer than ever, we are having sex almost regurlarly and it is electric..
But this is where the issues begin... i love her and tried for months to get her back, she blocked me out and I did'nt give in on us, when I actually did it seemed she realised and has came storming back into my life, all well and good except occasionally I get thoughts of her and this other guy, who I'll admit is a good kid, and does care for her.. I'd never say I was insecure, she says she missed our sex, missed me, and I'll always be the one... But I still get weird feelings now and again about her sleeping with someone else, I'd like to add, she slept with one guy only once before she met me, and this other guy twice after me so has not had a lot of sexual partners... I want to know if this is normal and I'll get over it, or if I should tell her we have to stop now, too much water under the bridge ect..
I love her and have gone through emotional torture to get this chance, but want reassurance I can shake these issues
Well, your feelings are normal, but I don't think you will get over it.That is a part of the history you two share. This does not mean that you should give up on the possibility of building back a relationship with her, just know that there are times where you will get weird feelings or something may happen that will hurt you. You have to decide if you want to take another chance with her. It may work or it may not work. The main question is, why do you think she wants you now? Is it because she doesn't want you with anyone else (This is not a good reason to want to be with you.) or is it because she cares about you so much that she wants another go (This is a great reason to want to be with you.)? She has been hot and cold in the past, so if you want to get back with her, let her know that it will take commitment (you don't need her to want you one minute and then not want you the next), and if she has a problem with the relationship at any time to let you know so you two can work on it together. But if she somehow indicates to you in the future that she is playing the hot/cold game, then that's probably when you need to tell her that a relationship with her won't work.