I suffered a lot of trauma in my life. One of the side effects has been using sex as a band aid. I have no idea how many guys I have slept with. Triple digits for sure. I finally meet a great guy, but he has no experience with mental illness, and doesn't believe in sex without being a couple. Well we are unable to be together for lots of reasons. So now I feel sick when I think about sleeping with anybody else. But we can't be intimate. So I'm at this crazy empty place and nothing I do makes me feel better. Yeah stupid problem, but I don't want to bother my friends with my depressing crap any more. Advice?
Stop having sex with multiple guys. That's my advise.
you don't tell what kind of traumas you experienced - you say you suffer from ptsd which could be a result of the traumas - this permanent inner stress maybe has pushed you to use sex as a band aid but now you've met a guy who seems to want a "normal relationship" and not just sex : and now that you can't have what you've always been apparently so easily getting (sex) - you want what you can't have - and it makes you obsess
this sets you face to face with your behavioral issues - as in why did you have so much sex relations and apparently so little "love" relations ? it seems this guy is putting you in front of your capacity (or incapacity) to love and appreciate someone without immediately jumping in bed : what are those "many other reasons" that make you unable to be together ?
why is it you say you can't be intimate ? because you want sex and he wants love ?
you say you're at "this crazy empty place" : maybe it's a place where for once you get to decide - not according to what made you do the things you've always been doing a certain way but according to new paradigms, morals, values and ethics
maybe you'll want to take some time to consider how this situation seems to be putting you in front of yourself (who am I really - what do I want and why - what is my self-value and self-esteem) when maybe you've been running from yourself for years on end using sex as an escapade