Granddaughters father wont leave us alone
We are Russian jewish immigrant family, my daughter is 36 now and she has 4 yr old daughter, the childs father lives in england he is englishman, my daughter met him on internet and visit him in england many times, she got pregnant but lost first baby misscarry but a few month laater she got pregnant again, she came back to usa and child was born here so she is American citizen. The problem we have is this man keeps pestering us to see my grandchild his daughter but I dont want that and neither does my daughter, the man is in his early fifties and i think too old to be a good father,
We love the child very much and want her to have happy life but this man kept phoning wanting to meet my granddaughter, i started to hate his voice, he is a catholic too and we are jewish, it may sound bad but this man had heart bypass 3 years ago and we all prayed that he would die.
We just want rid of this man from our memory, he sends gifts for my granddaughter but we throw them away and we changed our phone number. It sounds bad i know but i had some sympathy at first but he wont give up and he writes now
I don't know how this man is (personality or behavior). If he would be a bad influence on the child, I can see why you don't want to respond back to him. But even if his role is insignificant to you, he still wants to be a part of the child's life and he is still the child's father. My advice would be to write back to him or call him and tell him what you feel about it. That is better than having to change numbers and whatnot just to avoid him. One day, the child could answer the phone or receive a letter. You don't know how she would react about it. Not to mention, he could just show up one day at your doorstep (if he is determined enough, which it looks like he is, it could happen...), and that could start more problems. So, I think it is important to keep that line of communication open somehow, especially since he wants to do something for his daughter. There are men who don't want to do anything for their children, no matter what age they are. You can start small, just write, establish how you would like things to be (maybe just writing, calling at times that have been discussed) and see if some agreement can be reached ( at least for the child's sake, because she needs to know about her father and that he is thinking about her). This is if the guy is reasonable and hasn't done anything to give you and your daughter serious doubts about his overall character. Now, if he is a guy who would be a terrible influence on the child, I still would write him/call him (I think it is better to write since you can't stand the guy), and tell him why it is not a good idea for him to see his daughter and what measures (legal) you would take to make sure that doesn't happen. This is a very delicate situation, so I wish you all the best. TILES