Only my kids keeping me from ending it all
Generally managing my depression ok with paroxetine and mindfulness. Extremely busy trying to support me and my wife of 4 years. But living with het is like walking on eggshells. The slightest thing wrong and she gets intensely angry with me. Makes me want to die. That dounds like Im really weak and so I am. I give up.
First off all, don't end your life just because some other person makes it worthless for you. Now, i admit i'm no psychologist or counselor, but I like you live with depression. It may not be as severe as you, but it sucks. Anyway, my first advice is call one of those 1-800 lines against suicide, trust me, it helps to know there are others like us out there who are willing to help. On your wife's case, I wouldn't dare to say one thing or another, because there may be some issues that make her act that way, maybe she needs professional help too. But the most important thing is to always keep thinking about your kids, use their love as the motor that drives you and try to forget about the people who don't care about having you as an important part of their lives.
My wife used to come after me. I caught her cheating, and she tried to drive me off for 29 years. She had been sexually abused and of course hated men because one of them had raped her as a child.
Do you know if your wife has any reason to be angry at you, for at males in general? Was she sexually abused? Does she have emotional problems, depression, anxiety? Does her mother or father, sister or brother, aunts or uncles, have emotional problems? Did her mother treat her father like this? What do you think it is?
Was she this way when you met her Did she change after the first child was born??
Does she realize for the sake of the children, she needs your salary and help with the kids? What is she, crazy? What would she do if you left and took your salary with you? She'd collapse.
Can't she see that for the sake of the children, she needs to knock it off? Doesn't she realize what effect it has on the kids when you two don't get along?
I would ask her, what is it with you? What are you angry about? What do you want me to do? I had a woman up the street who had it out for me, and I figured out, that she had been sexually abused, and was taking it out on me. It helps to try and figure it out. Maybe her panties are in a bunch. Tell her maybe she needs to try a different brand.
Whatever it is, she's winning. She's diving you up the wall. Why? Can you give a report back?
Walking on egg shells, you said about your reaction to her, reminds me of what my boss many years ago said about me. He said, "I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around you."
You also said, "The slightest thing wrong and she gets intensely angry with me."
You're getting close to home now.
I'm manic-depressive, so maybe she has something like that. You can go to the search engine, and type in that name, and read the descriptions of that ailment.
I would do that, because it would be nice to know what is going on with her. Do any of her relatives have mental illness? Was she like this when you met her? Did she get like this after her first child? I'm on lithium, which lowers mania and lessens depression. I'm also on an anti-dep.
Right after I took the first lithium, when I was about 30, I felt like the air had been let out of a balloon. I couldn't believe how tense I had been. I should have been put on lithium years before. I had been misdiagnosed. If they don't diag. you right, they can't med. you right. So the diag. is very impt.
Look up man.-dep., and see how many symptoms she matches up with. Does she get dep.? Does she get manic, as in excited or angry? Are there a few hours or a few days when she's wonderful, which could be in-between those cycles.
Does she have a hard time going to sleep, or sleep too much? Does she stay up until midnight? Does she sometimes have a lot of ideas, so many she can't keep with them? Some days she doesn't have any, and doesn't want to get out of bed?
If you see this, or whatever she may have, see if she'll go to a psychiatrist. She's bringing down herself and the family. To tear down the bread winner is insanity. It hurts her own kids. What if you left, what would she do? She'd collapse.
She's got a condition. It may be anxiety. Look that one up to. You need to get her to a psy. How about letting us know how this turns out?