Things can get worse? Dealing with a family problem with my parent and sibling. I am caught in the middle and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to be in the middle of this, but I can't help but be.
This is messing me up, its triggering all the self destruct patterns I am trying to avoid. I want to go cry, or run, or something to avoid feeling like this.
It is so hard to get time for me, I work two jobs, and have three children, I am widowed. I try and be a great parent, but having two jobs takes me away from them when all I am trying to do is provide for them, the costs of living and having a vehicle are a lot.
I don't know, I am in therapy but haven't been able to see my therapist lately. I just feel lost , I am not happy, things are piling up on me and I am overwhelmed with the magnitude of the problems piling on top of each other, I want to be home, but I want to make money, I want my parent and sibling to not have this going on but I can't change it. I need to figure out who I am , I feel like I am drowning, home life, work, trying to find a relationship and failing, drinking, I am trying to quit, but its hard when I don't feel like I can deal with everything, there is not time, I just hope things settle down, I am going to go back to school this summer so I can have a career and only one job instead of two almost full time jobs! Just need to keep surviving!! I don't feel like I am doing very good right now.
Is sounds like your life has become more complicated since you stopped seeing your therapist. The other day I saw an article saying if things feel too overwhelming, writing in a journal can help to sort out your thoughts and to put things in a format you can understand and solve problems with. (It always made things worse for me whenever I tried that but it helps most people.) In it you could even put in everything that you've been wanting to talk to your therapist about, then show it to him/her when you see them again.
In case you need to be reminded:
- solve problems one step at a time. never try to chew more than you can swallow.
- if there are things you can't handle right now, it's fine. If I were you my priorities would be:
*this family problem
*relationships (unless you're already in one. in that case this would be between income and school.)
I know it doesn't seem right to put your current, most prevalent issue so close to the bottom, but when you look at the rest of the list, there's so much at stake. As of now, if you can't handle all those things I would try my best to handle the top 5 things. I hope this helps!
Thank you it does help put things in perspective, I have been focusing on myself more, my home life, and sobriety. It is very challenging but yes it is worth it, life is more than be overwhelmed by my emotions and I have more to look out for than myself, and I also need to deal with my issues so I can be a better parent and role model.
I know it will not be easy, but I know the things I need to do and am taking steps to be better than before!
Thank you for your advice, it means a lot.