My aunt is annoying
First things first, in the African community there's no reasoning with family members as long as they are older than You and You are under their roof. Now this woman of an Aunt takes devoted Christian to a whole new level. Let me explain:
I'm not religious myself however I'm forced to go to church or else I'll be accused of being a Satanist. I'm quiet, like to keep to myself and quite frankly with the kinda family I have , I really don't enjoy spending time with them.
So according to my Aunt when I :
Sleep too much
Serve the tea wrong
Don't talk much
Show no interest in the neighbours
Refuse to dance
Stay in the room all day
I'm apparently inviting Demons into my life and agreeing to be a Satanist. EVERYTHING to Her is Satanic it's so annoying and She expects me to compliment her. In the back of my head I'm always thinking Gee I have to compliment You but You call me Satanic and cheeky.
She's loud and has to be heard everytime She walks in the room. She always talks albout how everyone loves her especially people my age but because I don't I must be evil.
She has this annoying habit of putting on the radio and the tv at the same time , then at night the radio on full blast. If I complain , this will be evidence of my diabolical nature.
She broke my glasses - No apology but when I broke her nail polish she expected me to pay. Of course I didn't because I'm evil like that. She even had the nerve to wear my shoes and I had to ask for PERMISSION to take them back. She's too much and unfortunately I'll be staying with her. I'd rather die
She's obviously more needy than you and less confident unless she has 'numbers' enough to confirm thus bolster her actually quite weak convictions. It's akin to a 40-a-day smoker saying repeatedly to a non-smoker, 'Oh, go on - HAVE ONE!'. If you're smoking, s/he feels less *wrong* (your aunt's case - potentially mistaken about 'the answer').
Devout, my a*se. Plus where in either the NT or OT does it condone whatever level or style (her case, drip-drip-drip) of bullying?
She's incredibly insecure, is what she is. Because *she's* got demons. Hence needs to drown out the quiet due to the fact that idle time in silence is when those demons start yabbering in your ear ("Remember the time when you did X? No? Let me re-run the cine footage for ya! What you did back then, then and then, was bad/stupid, that was, and you know it, don't you....yes you do!", etcetera). She fears them so much that she needs you constantly around, making noise, filling the disquieting silence/boredom, or giving her the excuse to do so... including needing to keep creating and maintaining time-filling, silence-filling drama. She wants you to give her something else to think about, to keep her mind quiet and occupied.
Since you're in a position of captivity, the best thing to do is change your attitude. You're doing her a service (albeit only as a box of Elastoplasts). And she, unbeknownst to her, is doing you one. A genuine, life-long-lasting one:
She's the weights/pulleys that build up your mental muscles. For large periods daily! By the time you can get free of her/them, your mind is going to be positively RIPPED! You imagine what you'll eventually be able to do with a mind like that... one that has huge, rock-hard pecs (powers of endurance), biceps (patience), abdominals (determination, tenacity, bravery), huge- suffice it to say, EVERY SINGLE MENTAL MUSCLE THAT EXISTS ON YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL-VERSION BODY. Compared to other people with NORMAL lives, you'll by then be capable of taking on anyone and anyTHING. You'll be deadly.
Use it wisely, won't you?
So that dumb belle is a dumbbell. And you don't even have to pay gym fees!
See? Every cloud has a silver lining.
Just bide your time, safe in the knowledge that your time to shine is coming, hence WHY life gave you this free day-long gym membership on-legs (wearing your shoes).
It's how it works.
PS: 'Oops, the washing-up liquid must have accidentally squirted into one of my shoes that you like to 'borrow'.
Lmao that was hilarious. Maybe all things happen for a reason
No 'maybe' about it! But you're not helpless, you can have passive-aggressive fun in the meantime. In its place, wholly justified (when you're being decidedly oppressed with no other means to self-assert and bolster your pride), passive-aggression is a mighty fine tool. You're 100% qualified so - "whoops!... aww no, not again?!.... and AGAIN?!...tsk, how am I so CLUMSY?!.... and that was your *favourite*, as well?!".
Give Mrs Duh-Brain (or Over-Full Brain) time and, you never know, she might start to join the dots and realise you're not the piss-easy prey she first took you as, and start to ease off a bit.
PS: The Fairy Liquid won't be hilarious, though. Just squishy. I imagine [halo]. Yet an inadvertent favour (at least for ONE foot) because, as the ad sang, "Haands that do dishes are as soffffft as your face.... with MIIILD GREEEEEN,...Fairy Li-quiiid".
Heh...Reminds me of a joke (about modern UK culture, using taking the mickey out of the Fairy Liquid ad):
Little girl to mother doing dishes at sink: Mummy? Why are your hands so soft?
Mother: I'm only 12.
Gets me every time!)