I don't want to be with him anymore
This might be long, so bear with me.
I have been with my fiancé for two years now coming up in March. We met when I was 18 and I was living with a foster family. I lived on a nice farm and lived a pretty satisfying life. At first he was such an awesome boyfriend. He would buy me flowers and generally make an effort to make me smile. It was nice... but the second time we hung out was when he came to visit me (he lived 60 miles away) and he wanted to "go for a ride in his car"... well, turned out he just wanted to have sex. He pulled off on a dirt road and we did our thing. Wasn't fun. Thought maybe Id just blow it off and things would get better. But everytime after that he wanted a sexual encounter. Even if it wasn't the whole thing. Again I blew it off. At one point my foster family had convinced me to break up with him because I needed to focus on school and he wasn't good enough for me so on and so on. I told him we should take a break. So I focused on my school for a while but ended up starting to talk with another guy. We saw each other for a while and eventually that was noticed by my foster family. They didn't like it. Some things happened (not telling the whole story because you guys would be here all day reading this) but push come to shove, they kicked me out and I ended up having to live with this guy. It was great at first. But after a few months I came to realize he only wanted me there as a money source. He drained my bank account every week and my food card every month as soon as it was filled. I got sick of it and started talking to my previous boyfriend again, because I thought I missed him. Well I ended up ditching the money theif and moving in with my first bf. And weve been together since. We have an apartment and My mother and sisters are here with us because they were homeless and we bailed them out. But there comes the issue... My mom and sisters depend on me and my fiances relationship because they have no other place to go or any money.
I haven't felt anything with this guy for a long time. Not sexually, not intimately barely emotionally. I care about him, but hes still basically a child. He acts like one. He has never once satisfied my sexually or intimately. No matter how many times I beg or tell him how. He only cares about his sexual feelings. Again. Like a child. And Ive finally come to terms with the fact that I don't want to be with him anymore. In fact the other night I went on a drive with one of my high school flames and felt more then than I have since I been with my fiancé... I don't know how I ever convinced myself that I wanted to marry him. Maybe my empathy got the best of me. Theres a whole giant back story to why I feel bad for him... but again, not going there. I would have no problems leaving besides the facts of my family and my stability. I am seasonaly unemployed, as is my mom. So hes supporting us. But I want out and I cant just throw my family on the streets. I don't want to live with my family. I want them to have there own space and me my own. I just don't know what to do. Im stuck and have few options.. If you need more details let me know. Either way this goes someone is getting hurt, me or him and my family...
Wow... Okay so... this is a really hard choice for you to make... but I believe that you should leave him... This is your life and you should be living it the way you want to.
I know You don't want your family to be homeless again, but anything is better than you having to live the rest of your life with regrets. You shouldn't have to marry someone you don't love.
Don't make the same mistakes that so many other people make. Find a different job, both you and your mom. You will find something and get out of his house. Let him know what you really feel.
If you go ahead with the wedding, it's not going to be fair to him or you. You don't love him and you deserve to be with someone you love... and he does too.
And next time you want to date someone, make sure that you really love him. Make sure he is the one. Don't just date to date, date to find the guy of your dreams... I wish you the best of luck on your decision!