PeoplesProblems Logo

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
Relationship advice So here's the thing...I've been straight all my life, but I have this one best friend of mine that I think I'm in love with. Just to be clear, i have very strong emotions and my friends are the only people I truly care about and I have issues with affection. My best friend and I are always fighting and making up but there's something about her that makes me totally insane. I'm not exactly someone who'll look at any nice girl and check em out. It's just my best friend. I don't know if that makes me lesbian or is it just some phase...

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
I was like you. I do not know to explain this situation but I know how you feel. I used to feel excited when I would hug her or laugh with her, she is not my best friend though,I got feelings as I used to feel for boys. Then, I had thoughts whether if I was les or not. But I was not into girls totally and boys either. I thought maybe I was bi. Then again, maybe you are bi . But the point in here is do you feel these towards any girl except her? If the answer is no, probably you love her more much than you think. Thats why you have been feelig this, If the answer is yes, then you could be a bisexual

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
"do you feel these towards any girl except her? If the answer is no, probably you love her more much than you think. Thats why you have been feelig this, If the answer is yes, then you could be a bisexual"

I agree with that (well put, NURLOOK).

Here's my two-penneth...

1. There's actually a very fine line between genders. Very. Far finer than previously realised.

2. In the absence of a boyfriend with whom to 'exercise' that part of your psyche and natural 'behind-scenes' urges, you'd be bound to "over"-attach to whatever other especially close relationship partner, platonic originally or not.

Basically, you have a mental roadblock (this 'issue' with affection/attaching), meaning, although you want to shop at Waitrose, you're confined to 'seeking/getting all of your provisions' from Sainsbury's, to the point of making the best of a 'bad' situation, to point of habit, to the further point of normalisation, to the point of that normalised state then seeking 'promotion' by crossing that 'dividing line'. What doesn't help is the little known fact that we all tend to forge same-gendered friendships only with those we find (wittingly or not) physically attractive in whatever ways.

You'd be in the same predicament were you incarcerated in a women's prison.

So your solution is obvious: recommence dating but cast your net a lot wider to get around the fact you're just plain very fussy (now't wrong with that). But the good news is, at least you now have a solid template, meaning, you'll unconsciously and otherwise be looking for 'her with a w*lly', making your search for your ideal partner p*ss-easy compared to the norm. :-)

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
Maybe you are right but 2nd one doesn't sound right because I have a boyfriend and I had talked to him about this problem as well. But I am still thinking about being a bi currently. I thought maybe you are in the same situation which really has been making me confused about sexual life. Not emotional but physical. I love my boyfriend but when I see an attractive girl,(sometimes) I feel like I wanna have sex with her(not only my girlfriend) I don't know maybe my situation is different from yours but I don't think I understood your situation correctly.

I couldn't find a solution yet because it changes from girl to girl. I cannot say something specific but I know that I am not lesbian because I was in relationship when I got feelings towards her. That's why I thought I might have been a bisexual.

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
Omg thank you guys for the fantastic replies! :D
I think I get it now. I need to go out and start dating again, only then will I make sense of what I want. After reading these replies, even my coworkers noticed how much better I feel about myself!
Thanx again guys
Really appreciate it

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
(No, sorry, NURLOOK, my response, including points 1 and 2, was meant for BLACKVELVET. Only my first sentance was aimed additionally at you.)

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
BV, you're welcome. Glad we could help. :-)

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
Gosh. I havent seen the alias. I thought you were BLACKVELVET. That's why I wrote that I couldn't understand. Damn it, I'm only a new member. Sorry...

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
That's okay - easy mistake. :-) But if you fancy getting feedback on your own personal situation then please do feel free to start a thread.

Am I lesbian?

Default profile image
I also don't think you know how common homosexuality in humans actually is, it's just still socially unacceptable so its scary when you start to feel toward someone of your same sex.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-4