Jehovah witness marrying a non JW
My partner is an ex jehovah witness . I'm not , although I am a deeply spiritual person . We have been together for 5 years . We love each other and have been happy although we have had some difficult times mainly due to his bouts of depression , mental anguish ( struggling to reconcile his beliefs with his lifestyle ) , emotional pain as he was disfellowshiped and labelled an apostate . ( this happened before I met him ) . It has been hard for me as I've found him to be emotionally unavailable a lot of the time ( he says this is due to feelings of guilt as we are living in sin and pain from his previous marriage ) .
This past year has been really good as he seemed to have resolved a lot of his issues and he finally seemed happier and finally free to be himself . Which is about time to be honest , as we are both in our forties.
He has now decided that he wants to return to his faith and rejoin the church and must now either marry me or leave me . He says he needs to decide what he must do . he did ask me if I married him would I be prepared to convert .
I'm in shock as I never saw this coming . I'm hurting as I feel I've invested 5 years of my life , feeling emotionally insecure most of these 5 years . Now , i am faced with having to make the decision to just walk away . I know him rejoining the church will probably bring him the peace he's looking for , but I think marrying him will make his life more difficult because I would never be accepted unless I converted and he'd have fewer privileges because of it .
I feel resentful towards this religion as it has caused him so much mental and emotional pain and because they've branded him an apostate and me an unbeliever .
i don't know what to do . Any advice will be appreciated
First I can understand your feelings.
You came to a split road.
Do you can understand why someone would return to the place where he left with mixed feelings? To be honest I write you this as a born JW now 62 years old living into The Netherlands.
No one is forced to stay a JW. But if you want to be a JW you need to consider that there are according to the Bible standards that JW wants to follow things and asked from you.
To disfellowship some one is a process that wants to help some one and not hate some one. Tollerating wrongdoing would harm others and make the whole congr. changes into a place where no Bible standards would be followed.
Disfellowshipping some one is based on a Bible rule. (1 Corinthians 5:1-13) but into his second letter Paul wrote the congregation in his next letter to take the man back after he showed remorce (2 Corintians 2)
So disf. a person is trying to "force" him to change his ways.
But this step is not taken too fast. This your partner can affirm.
No one ever is pressed to become a JW and no one is pressed to stay as a JW.
Every JW has a bound with his Heavenly Father. And not with men. So it can happen that your partners consious is triggereing him constantly because of the vowl he made at his baptism and dedication. ( Ecclesiates 5:4)
Jw'a want people to be happy and the One instated the marriage wanted a couple to be happy.
I am sure you will get a lot bad reactions about JW's and also your own thoughts about them.
That can affect your decision.
Maybe a good advice can be: Just try to know some (more) about JW's and see if what is going on is right or wrong.
To know some just go to their website: jw.org and try to find out some more about them.
Then you can see if you want to go to the left or to the right in your decission.
BUT! I am sure your partner will be happy and I can assure you and hope you will be a much happier person now and in the future.
(Please excuse me for my English - not my native language)