Would appreciate advice
I would really appreciate relationship advice, as I am confused. I have been dating this girl for 3 months & things have progressively gone well. We were actually distance friends 10 years ago & then reconnected. After 6 weeks we said we loved each other. I want to be with her as much as possible. I have no kids & a very flexible schedule. She has a 16 year old & owns a business that keeps her busy. I have felt ignored from seeing her 1-2 nights per week, but she claims she does the best she can to make time. She does live 30 min away, so I drive to see her for dinner once per week. She does not let me visit her place because of her 16 year old, which I just met. I was very excited as I planned a valentines day weekend at a home in CO. When I mentioned it to her, she was not sure if she could go, given the dates. She then decided she could go but asked if her friend could come. I am a nice guy & want to make her happy, so I said yes. During the trip, she paid more attention to her friend than she did to me. I eventually got upset & she claimed she did not understand why. I should point out that we are very opposte in the sense that she always likes being around people, whereas, I am happy staying at home. I certainly see negative signs but also see a ton of good signs. She texts/calls me 3 times per day. We talk for at least an hour per day. I am bothered by the fact she brought a friend along on our first vacation, when we have not been able to see each other that much. She claims she is giving her ex more time with her daughter, which will enable her to see me 4-5 days per week. Her lease is coming up & she has even hinted at moving in with me (that is not entirely fair, as I have hinted it to her). I have fallen pretty hard, pretty quickly & want to make sure I am with someone who means "I love you". I have always been fearful that because of my financial success, woman just want to settle down with a stable guy. I would appreciate any feedback. My thought is to give it more time as we are only 3 months in. I tend to make a big deal out of nothing & am wondering if that is the case in this scenario. We have met each others friends, gone to parties together, etc..
You are not overreacting in any way. Both people must give 100% in a relationship. I am currently experiencing a very similar issue. Bringing a friend on your first trip together was disrespectful to you, especially on Valentines Day. Of course, this is very easy to say, but when you love someone, it is difficult to walk away.
It all sounds really new at the moment and you are going to have these feelings a lot.
Having a 16 year old and her own business must keep her very busy, so I am not surprised that she finds it hard to have more than 1-2 nights per week to go out and date. I think that is due to her having less ''free'' time, not anything you are doing wrong, try not to worry about that part.
Not wanting you to come around her place when she has a 16 year old daughter is probably because she wants to make sure this relationship is serious before getting you tied in emotionally with her child. That is very normal, and honestly commendable about her. It could also be a situation were having a man around your 16 year old daughter when you have to deal with your ex partner (in regards to contact/child support etc) could cause issues. The 16 year olds father might give her a lot of hassle if he found out she was bringing men around his daughter if that makes sense. Again this is not your fault, it is simply part of the package if you will. Both of these will pass with time and patience as you move further into your relationship.
For Valentines, it is a little strange to bring your friend but there is several reasons she could have done this:
1. maybe she still feels a little nervous, and going away with her pal made her feel a little bit 'safer' if you will. Not to say you are dangerous or have bad intentions or anything of that sort, just sometimes it can be a little scary going away somewhere new, in a place you dont know, with a guy you are in a pretty new relationship with.
2. Maybe she and the friend had previously planned some time together and she didnt want to let her friend down. (Maybe her pal has just had a really bad break up and she was trying to be a good friend, inviting her along).The key is she did tell you she wasnt sure due to the date, so maybe there was previously something going on...and instead of bailing on you, she went with a middle ground...she could come, but she would need to bring the friend. This left you feeling a bit bummed I am sure, as it wasn't what you planned, but I am sure that it showed her you are flexible, supportive of her decisions, and generally a nice guy. (Kudos for not freaking out by the way!)
The fight about it was expected, as you were frustrated from your plans being...changed...and she was confused because you had said the friend could come.
If she is asking for her daughter to be watched more, then she is clearly in to you and making time for you.
Hinting about the lease could mean a lot of things. Maybe she is ready to take it to the next level, so you can see each other more (as that seems to be what you keep asking her for), maybe she is fishing to find out how you feel on the topic before committing herself to a new lease....Or maybe she is after stability for her and her daughter. If she is that is perfectly natural for any woman and or mother. But you said she runs her own business, so I am not sure she is doing it for your money...(I could be wrong...but from everything you said I do not think she is chasing you for the cash).
Hopefully some of this has rang true and can help you feel a little more at ease. Try to relax a little and let it take its course. It sounds to me like everything is moving along nicely.