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I just want to leave it all and don't know if I should...

I live in Loudon County, Northern Virginia. It's one of, if not the wealthiest counties in the world and everyone's life around here revolves solely around strict, work-intense schedules. Anyway, I'm in school right now because that's what everyone else is doing. I'm planning on studying graphic design because I like to be creative and think it would be cool to incorporate my artistic talents into the "real world". But then I have this internal struggle of almost despising the real world. You see, I'm naturally a free and adventurous spirit. I'm starting however to get into the habit of being obsessive about times, dates, scheduling my work/school schedule, etc., and its stressing me out. I wouldn't say I'm happy doing this. I don't feel free like I once did, and I don't see freedom in the future when I look at the lives that my family and adults of the area live. Everyone's glued to their smartphone, scheduling, emailing, pretty much all office drones that make great money... I'm not sure I want to be this, but I don't know what else to do. It seems that I have no choice but to go in this direction. Sometimes I want to run away, be an artist, travel to different places, get some tattoos, and live my passion of drawing and writing. Sometimes I'm convinced to just say "f*ck it" and take the path less traveled but do fear financial insecurity, social discrimination if I don't succeed, and the possibility that I would spend the rest of my life working as a grocery store manager if I end up regretting doing this and "getting a grip" on reality... Has anyone had a similar situation like this? And if so, did you take the path less traveled? How did it work out? I'm 20, btw. Thanks... :)

I just want to leave it all and don't know if I should...

You say, "I'm planning on studying graphic design because I like to be creative and think it would be cool to incorporate my artistic talents into the "real world". But then I have this internal struggle of almost despising the real world." I would stay ion school, make good grades so I could go to college, go to college so you can get training in graphic design, so upon graduation, you can get a job in graphic design. Once in graphic design, you ideally will be to use your training and your skills and your interests in your chosen field and get paid for it, so you can have your own place and your own car and your own food and your own life. By working for a company, you will have experiences you will never have working on your own, since nobody knows you. The company will come up with clients who want graphic work, whereas you couldn't do that on your own. If you're good, then you can go to another and bigger company, where you will have more and better experiences, and make more money. You can be creative within the enclosure of a company and make money that you couldn't afford to pay yourself. You don't lose yourself by going with a company, if you want to stay independent. You don't have to become a supervisor, you can stay a creative graphic designer. You say, "But then I have this internal struggle of almost despising the real world." Yes, the real world is that bad. But the real world is where they pay graphic designers. They don't pay graphic designers out in the woods. You say, "Sometimes I want to run away, be an artist, travel to different places, get some tattoos, and live my passion of drawing and writing." If you want to read about a guy who did that, who took the raod less traveled, read on the net about the life of novelist Jack London. I think he rode box cars, I don't think he made it through 9th grade, but he wrote a very successful novel, "The Call of the Wild," about a wolf, or something like that, or a guy who lived in the woods, I forget, but I did read the book. Tonight (Friday) on public television, there is bio on the life of Carol King, singer, song writer, which you might want to watch, since you live in the same time zone as I do. It starts at 9 p.m. It could be 8 it could be 10, but I think it's 9. I don't know anything about her, although I do remember she wrote some pretty songs. She's creative, like you. Watch it and see what she did and you do the same thing. I do like to read about people's lives, including yours. Something I forgot to do was to thank your parents for the things they did for you, especially if they're sending you to college in a year or two. Thank them for that. Thank them each year you're there. Those are people who are in the rat race, also, but they're doing it for you. So it's not such a bad idea after all. It's not a great idea, but it's not a bad idea. The only way you're able to write on the computer and the internet is because someone body invited those things. They went to school, they got a job in their field, but at the same time, they did what nobody had ever done. They invented computers, and the internet, which is a help to a lot of people, including you. The quote you gave was written by Carl Sanders, from North Carolina, near both of us. He wrote, "Two paths diverged in a yellow wood. But I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You can, too. You said you'll probably end up being a grocery story manager. Here's a story. There was this guy who worked in a grocery store. One day his boss came to him and said, "I'm going to make you produce manager. Fill out this form" The man said, "I can't read or write." The manger said, "If you can't read or write, you can't work here." So the guy had to quit. So he started a corner grocery store. He expanded it, until it became a full size grocery story. The he started a second grocery store, and then he had a chain of grocery stores. One day a reporter came to him for a story, and he told the reporter, "You know, I can't read or write." And the reporter said, "Just think where you'd be if you could read and write. And the man said, "I'd be produce manager at a local grocery store." So either way, you're going to make it. Maybe. So how did it work out for me? According to society's standards, not very well. I got fired from a lot of jobs, I have manic depression, but I do some free lance creative work, and I enjoy it very much. Cause I got to be me. There is a poem. Some men weren't made to be among wolves. Here it is: ----------------------------- THERE ARE MEN TOO GENTLE TO LIVE AMONG WOLVES A Poem by James Kavanaugh There are men too gentle to live among wolves Who prey upon them with IBM eyes And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon. There are men too gentle for a savage world Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon. There are men too gentle to live among wolves Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws And murder then for a merchant's profit and gain. There are men too gentle for a corporate world Who dream instead of candied apples and ferris wheels And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train. There are men too gentle to live among wolves. Who devour them with eager appetite and search For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry. There are men too gentle for an accountant's world Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky. There are men too gentle to live among wolves Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove. Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world. Unless they have a gentle one to love. -------------------- I was given this poem by a fellow worker. It's from jobs that you meet people, and get ideas.

I just want to leave it all and don't know if I should...

I think most people go through these feelings as they transition from a teen/young adult into fully fledged grown up and realise ''crap life isnt all fun and games''. This is when people rebel and decided to drink and smoke all the time, or run off and do crazy stuff with crazy people, leave their home and travel the world on a gap year from college, or where they knuckle down at college or uni and decide what they want to do. It is a very important time for you, and I would dare say almost everyone can relate to this feeling at some point in there lives. Some have it sooner than others. But the good news is this is a path you can choose, but only you can. If you don't know which way to go...then stay in school until the semester is over...then see if you can take a year off. If you can, go exploring and trying new things. If it doesn't work out you can always keep going with your graphic design. At the end of the day, maybe you just need a break from the drudgery of life.

I just want to leave it all and don't know if I should...

PJVL9, your response means a lot to me. Thank you.

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