This is a long story but I could really use some advice. Thanks..
I met my husband two years ago online. We waited about 6 months before meeting. Hes from scotland im from greece. We also have an age difference where he is almost twice my age. When we first started chatting I was using the pics of another girl so i was basically a catfish. That was going on for three months before I told him the truth. Those three months he was also chatting with another girl who was planning to meet,even marry from what I found later on,behind my back .That never happened ofcourse and he cut communication with her once I told him the truth about me. Ever since we met in real as well things started being much better. A year later pretty much i moved over to scotland to be with him and we got married. But i never took that other girl off of my mind. So one day I happened to read their emails,and some of some other exs,when he had left his email open while he was at home. Now I know that was wrong of me but the things I read were pretty upseting. I tried to confront him but we got into a big fight and he was basically accusing me of causing problems for no reason and tyat this women mean nothing to him and that theres no reason why id bring them to our life. I apologised and tried to move on.
But a few months later after another of our fights I started feeling really insecure about this relationship again that I went back to his email,secretly,only to read more of their messages. I was planning on confronting him again but I thought id take my time before so that I wouldnt be an emotional mess while doing so. I just couldnt understand why hed still keep those emails and why hed lie to me about a bunch of things like the fact that he had skyped with that woman and that he admitted to her that he loves her,even more than me,and that he was even thinking of marrying her. Ofcourse that is all in the past but reading them and him having still kept those emails was too upsetting. But he found out I had accessed his account and instead we ended up having a big fight just today where again he accused me of going through things of the past that mean nothing,claiming that im a 'selfish bored cunt' who 'has nothing better to do while he works his ass off for us'. Those were exactly his worlds. Oh and he also claimed he deleted them yesterday and then asked for his pw in order for him to prove me so but he wouodnt givr me it claiming that hes not the liar,so i just logged into his email again and he hadnt deleted them so he really is a liar.
Im really upset about all these and theres more detail about their relationship,or whatever their had was,but i wouldnt oike to go through it.
Now I dont know how to handle all that and what to do. I really love him but all that stuff just make me doubt that his feelings for me are mutual. Please help?
If you used the pic of another girl for 3 months, then you have basically reaped what you have sown. This guy may have married you but that's about all after what you have posted. His actions are contributing to your insecurity and the fact that he can call you some pretty derogatory names when you're really still recently married says it all.
Ask yourself what you would expect from a successful marriage where love, honesty and respect are present on a daily basis and compare that to what you are experiencing now. Then, ask yourself if you really love him and why you doubt his feelings for you.