Sometimes I wake up, and I feel like I have nothing to do, no part in this world, and I feel like shit. I am in that time at the moment everyday has been a fucking drag. I feel like everything I was good at, I am only getting worse at or not improving and my inspiration level is only going down.
I am in a rut, fairly stuck, so my only thought was to start putting pen to paper, or in my case at the moment, finger to screen.
I have been through stages of alcohol to try and relieve my self, it worked for a while, but it soon became a problem. From when I stopped drinking so much until now know I been an occasional drinker, only drinking when the offer is there with friends and never going over board. Nothing keeps me contempt, I feel like I like things for a while but they quickly become old, they don't interest me, and it saddens me that I don't, but I don't. That is why I started drinking.
But Iv picked something else up recently, smoking marijuana, it started off small, smoking very rarely and gradually got more. I got to a point where I was smoking 24/7 when I didn't have anything on for a few weeks, and by the end of it, I felt shit. My mind had been altered, I am new person, a new outlook on life, and that's where I am now, stuck with shit all, feeling minimal inspiration for hobbies and work. I wouldn't say marijuana did that too me because that's why I started anyway, shit doesn't keep me contempt.
I also deeply think about how much nicer things were a long time ago, the interests I had, no stress, focused, wasn't worried about achieving but was achieving, now I'm just sitting here, thinking about where the time went getting no where.
So that's me at the moment, from time to time, day to day I get some inspiration and enjoyment, but as soon as I'm not doing anything, those thoughts hit me again. Any advice or comments what ever you want to say I would enjoy to hear, thanks.
Believe it or not, I had the same exact feeling. I had smoked marijuana for about a year and a half straight, every night, and it began to tear up my mind. I had no motivation for school or work. I started looking at things differently - in regards to school, work, and life. But then I began overthinking and my thoughts became irrational in regards to a lot of things and ended up depressing me. I was in a funk for a long time.
I was always high, had just graduated high school with a 1.75GPA, and had no goals or motivation - stuck in a depressed state. Now I have a job I enjoy (somewhat) and am in Community College and am looking forward to transferring to a four year university and beginning a new social life.
My advice? As hard as it may seem at first, give up the pot, give up the alcohol, OCCUPY the fuck out of your time. Exercise, read a positive book, find a club to join, go on a hike. What you pay attention to grows, you just had happened to be in a stage where you were paying attention to the negatives. Everyone goes through a time or two like this in life. It's how we grow, but if we can find the strength to make it through - we most certainly find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for your response, I think stopping weed and alcohol will be a good step..