My bc wants his 20year old daughter to stay In our one bedroom apt he moved in with me . We are not planning on moving any time soon and I had a bad experience with my late husband kids and I had the at age 11 and 12 I only me her on christmas day and he did not raise her her mother did .so I don't think he knows her. He can't tell me any thing about her when I ask him . I think he trying to make up for lost time but I don't think it has to be living with us. That's like having a stranger live with you .
My late husbands kids were so cruel the last two years of his life. I was so stressed I started having health problems.after he passed it took me two years to even think about a relationship .
But I know I did not want to take on someone else's kid.He can help her but I don't want to go to that place again.
You need to have this conversation with him and let him know how you feel, if she moves in and all you guys do is fight it will end. Do you want to take that chance on your relationship and your health again? If you talk to him and gives you an ultimatum that she has to stay it will still eventual end in a breakup. If its a need thing maybe you can come to a compromise, I have kids and even step kids and I understand helping them out but I have also kicked out one of my older kids (25) because he wasn't doing what he was suppose to do and that was the deal I made with my wife (his stepmom) that if he didn't obey the rules he would be gone it was hard for me but I did it because it was best for him, me and my wife and our other kids in our house. best advice I can give is communicate with him.