I feel unimportant
I am a teen and can't afford to see a therapist. The ones near me cost $90-$120 an hour. That is beyond outragious. The other thing, is whenever I bring up I want to see one to my parents they say no.
I am not making this up, but one time I tried talking to my parents and my dad started mocking how I feel right in front of me. It hurt, but he did not care. My mom is constantly putting me down 24/7.
She is always telling me I'm horrible at things and everything is my fault. She even blames me for her problems, but I know that not everything is my fault. I cannot show emotions anymore, I stopped a long time ago. I would get scolded and yelled at for showing any. I have learned to bottle everything up. I can't talk about anything with anyone of what I'm going through, if I do my parents mock me. I get shown no sympathy by them. Whenever I try and talk they either ignore or mock me. What would you do?
They try and hurt me where it really hits home. I identify with the LGBTQ and they're constantly saying I'm messed up for that and making fun of others who identify with it to. They also love to call me ugly and retarded. I don't want low self esteem problems because of them saying and doing all of this.
Am I really spolied for feeling this way and wanting to see a therapist?
Sounds really tough, do you have any friends or adults outside of your parents that you can talk to - that you can trust? It's hard because we want the approval of our parents, but many parents take the wrong action or use the wrong words.
Also don't let anyone make you feel unimportant because you definitely matter! If you can't talk to your parents about your feelings ( which could be their hangups) write them down or find someone you can trust. Holding them in will just cause you to go into a depression. Key thing that really help me out and took me a long time to learn is "there are no wrong feelings". They just are, it's just how you deal with them that can be right or wrong, but tell yourself every day there are no wrong feelings, they are what they are!
I forgot to ask answer your question, sorry, NO, you are not spoiled for wanting to go to a therapist, it's a healthy solution. Can you save some money to take yourself, even a few times? Lookup reviews, get a recommendation and find a good one since it is a lot of money and you don't want to waste it.
yes - you need to vent - get it out - write it down : don't keep it all inside because you're ruining your capacities at feeling and having emotions - you will end up totally blocked inside and that would be a shame - no wouldn't it ?
I don't know if you're a boy or a girl - how old you are - you say you identify with lgbtq : does that mean that you are indeed one of these or do you only identify with them ? do you have sexual relations ?
what are you studying ? do you have brothers & sisters ? any other family member you could talk to ? can you leave home ? is there any possibility for you to go and make yourself a life elsewhere ?
as for your parents - avoid them as much as possible and if you can't - learn how to protect yourself - energetically, mentally & emotionally
you say they hurt you where it really hits home : home is the word - since you don't seem to have a "home sweet home" - build one on your own - you can build an "inside home" - inside of you - where you feel "at home" with yourself - that will give you inner strength and foundation for your values - once you feel strong inside - not blocked because of being AGAINST something or someone - but strong because of being FOR you - outer "disturbances" - even the ones that are meant to "hit home" - will no longer devastate you so much
if you can not change your physical/material surrounding - change yourself inside : you will grow inner strength
let me know :)