Upcoming abortion with my boyfriend who already has 4 year old
Hi, I'm looking for some support or advice here...
So as the title indicates, I am pregnant (by total surprise and accident) and I do have a lovely boyfriend of around 5-6 months.
I'm due to have an abortion on Monday 7th, after Mothers Day which is an awful feeling
We have both agreed that we can't support the baby financially at the moment and it's a bit soon but the main problem isn't really the abortion (well yes, a little), it's coping and hearing about his son.
He already has a child with his ex girlfriend of around 4 years who dislikes me and does everything in her power to break us up. She has no idea about this! The reason I struggle is that I'm getting rid of my baby while he still sees his son (which I know in my head is good and he should be) but I feel so sensitive about it at the moment, like I'm resentful of the little boy. Every time I see a picture of him or anything, even talking about him upsets me and I haven't had the abortion yet!
The last two days I haven't wanted to see or speak to my boyfriend because of this, when usually we are inseparable. I just feel when he talks about his son, it's a bit insensitive. How do I lose this bitterness? I know it's normal for him to and yes I knew about his son before I started the relationship, I'm just finding it hard to deal with whilst this is going on, I did struggle a little bit before but nothing like this, now it's much worse!
Any tips or advice to what can make me less bitter and resentful? I want to be happy and supportive when he mentions his son or at least seem like I'm interested. All I'm doing at the moment is changing the subject. He says he understands and it's because I'm going through a hard time but I know deep down he is probably hurt by it.
And if it doesn't get much worse... My sister is due to have her baby in 3 weeks and my brothers girlfriend (who I see a lot of the time) is having her baby in a few months after my birthday in August.
Kids everywhere. Baby's everywhere. All I seem to want to do is cry, eat and cry again.
What do I do!? Please help someone xx
Don't do the abortion. Your relation will get better with your daughter in law since she will have a half brother. Money will come. You will remember the abortion for ever; don't do it.
I think you should sit down with him, and explain your feelings about everything. If he doesn't completely understand your feelings about things then you shouldn't force yourself to harbor all of the grief and weight yourself. There are alternative options to abortion. Like adoption, perhaps finding a couple unable to have their own, who would be happy to raise the child. That would even give you the possibility to visit the child as it grows up! Plus, there is always your family. My grandmother was pregnant at 16 with twins, and when on to have 6 total, mostly without their father for help. She relied on family, hard work, and dedication to her children. Assuming he'd be alright with you having the child, then you should really consider having it. --But, if not, and you feel like abortion is your only option, then consider changing the date. Around mother's day is a very bad time, I think you'll feel even more miserable afterwards, I'm sure whoever you're doing it through would be understanding.