My ex boyfriend and I had been together on and off for a year and a half.
Recently there was a domestic violence dispute and he was taken to jail. When he got out, we didn't talk at first but we missed each other so we started talking again. Because of the domestic violence thing, a no contact order was put into place so the other night, the cops came to his house, saw us together, and arrested him again.
He just got out of jail and has blocked me on everything, changed his number, and the last words he said to me before he went to jail were I hate you. I'm depressed, we were engaged and now he hates me.
When I get depressed it gets worse and worse each time. I also have an eating disorder so when I'm depressed I don't eat or really even try to take care of myself. I have only eaten one small $1 burger in the past 5 days, I haven't been showering or even getting out of bed, I can't sleep, I've been throwing up, I've been drinking alcohol non stop and I've also been smoking a ton of cigarettes.
I really feel so sorry for you because he does not sound like a nice person to be around but I also know that love can be so hard to just ignore and move on from - especially if it ended very suddenly. I think you should see someone professional like a psychologist. They know what they're talking about and have the "cure" for you. That's probably the best advice I can give. Hope you feel better soon.