Been married 19 years together 23 got three adult children. Don't know if my husband has cheated or is cheating because of two things, the first thing is it was xmas 2014 and I checked in a bag to see what he got for xmas presents. The receipt was in the bag showing two perfumes but only one was in the bag, told him about it he went down stairs came back up and had another bottle of perfume, he denies he bought it up stairs with him even thou on my kids lives it was not in the bag. I know one perfume was for our daughter and one day I was sat with him when the woman from his office rang him and it sounded like she said, don't forget to get me a present he said she didn't say that and that she said, don't forget to get your wife a present. Now what woman would say that to a man and why would he forget anyway so I don't know if there is something going on, he's been working for the company for 22 months now and he is a sales rep. He said the other bottle of perfume must of fell out of the car or it was in the bag all along and I didn't see it but I know it wasn't there because I Kepted checking, the second thing is that we were having sex in a hotel room because we went away for a couple of days and he done it doggy style. He came out with, I'm going to come in your mouth but he denies he said it and he says he said, I'm going to come in your pussy. He came in my mouth years ago and never has since so why did he say it. I said he must be cheating or has done it with someone and was thinking of them that's why he said it but he denies it. I'm now wondering if I should call up the woman in the office and ask her if she is cheating with my husband. He said she's married and to go ahead and do it but what if she is cheating with him , she would deny it anyway. He said he wouldn't take me away or spend time with me if he was cheating but I said maybe it's guilt. Should I call her up and ask or not, Do you think he's cheating on me? Might he lose his job if I call, I feel I need to know about this office woman if something is going on I do have right to know don't I?
Let me ask you a few things please. Has there been any other events other than those that you have listed?
Rosewood I don't know if your husband is cheating or not. I don't think I would call the woman and ask her that, and you are right if they are having an affair she will deny it anyway.
If they aren't she could report this incident to HR and cause your husband some problems on his job.
Now, a change in habits could be a sign that he is cheating.
Let me ask you this does he spend more time on his cell phone then normal and is it password protected.
Has he been late coming home more then normal. There are many signs of infidelity. Does he smell of strange perfume?
I work on a team with 10 men, I am the only female. I have worked with the same men for many years. I talk to their wives on social media more then I do the guys I work with.
I do remind them, hey its her birthday, anniversary, etc, did you buy her a nice gift.
I think I would set back and watch your husband habits, and see if he is doing anything different. To base this on two incidents I think you need more proof then that before I would go waving the cheating finger.
He may be telling you the truth. Christmas time I bought my gifts, and a couple of times I got home and some of my stuff wasn't in the bags, I don't know if the girl didn't get all of my bags in the cart, or if I may have left it in the cart when I was unloading it. There could be a reasonable explanation for why the extra bottle of perfume wasn't there.
When my husband started cheating on me, I think I knew it instantly, I felt it. Something was telling me that something wasn't right with him. I didn't accuse him, I didn't even bring it up. I just set back and watched his habits. The things he was doing. How long he would disappear for lengths of time. Things of that nature.
One day I followed him when he left. Low and behold I caught him with his girlfriend. They came out of the bar hand in hand. Was he shocked to see me standing there.
Needless to say, I filed a divorce the next day. I am not telling you this so you run out and file a divorce. There were many other factors that led me to this decision.
The point I am trying to make to you is, if you suspect it, just sit back and wait because he will eventually hang himself, the more they become involved the more he will slip up. Before you go off the deep end, calling his coworkers, etc. Get proof before you make a fool of yourself and your husband.
Who is this woman? Why would she be reminding him to get you a present? Don't expect this woman to "confess" to anything, so no don't contact her.
Your husbands' lame logic "I wouldn't take you away and spend time with you if I was cheating" one has nothing to do with the other.
Don't second guess your gut, you know there was only one bottle of perfume in bag, and you did hear their conversation correctly. The oldest rule in the book for anyone cheating is to "Deny DEny DENy!!. What makes me think there maybe something going on is when he was ok with you calling her, if nothing was going on wouldn't this be embarrassing for him?
Just for the fun of it tell him that calling her husband might be a better move? .. How well do you know this woman?
The woman works in the office and he talks to her a couple of times a week and i have never met her at all. He said she was joking about the christmas gift and said dont forget to get your wife something and not, don't forget to get her something. I told him i will ask her husband and he said to email him because he has the email he sent him when he started the job so should i? He has been home late quite a few times in the past, said because of traffic and he had the proof where hes been. He said to get my hearing checked because he didnt say he would come in my mouth. He has two phones, one for work one for is own use. He leaves them both on the kitchen table, said i can check them anytine i want. He said why would he take me away, take time off if he was cheating and wouldn't he be staying out alot or saying he has to stay away the night, i tokd him if it's just a sex thing you can meet anytime it doesnt have to be in the night.
Just hold off and get more proof before you go emailing the husband,I certainly noticed when my partner was having an online affair or should I call it his fantasy,I noticed his secrecy,he constantly took his phone with him,he had a number lock on it so no one could open it,he changed his facebook password aswell,if his phone is out in the open check it,but that means nothing cos he is capable of deleting and messages etc.
But just watch his behaviour see if anything sticks out first!!!
Just try to remain calm for now and not let yourself get worked up because this may be nothing yet ok.
First of all as his wife he should be taking you away, taking time to be with you. Where there is a will people will always find a way.
I don't think you should involve this woman's husband, what would you ask him? Do you know why this woman is calling him is it work related? For now I agree with MORPHEOUS remain calm for now.
Because of your insecurities everything will seem like "something".