Hello, I am in need of advice
I recently got engaged and my fiance and I want to get married in early Nov. 2016.
The only problem is, my parents want it to be at a later date and the reason why is because they want to afford a better wedding/reception for us( they have financial problems currently but usually are fine).They also believe that it is better to wait longer because they do not think we are financially stable. My fiance and I are in our mid-twenties and believe we can be finanically comfortable. We both have jobs, im graduating in april of next year to get a better job, and he has plans on advancing in his job as well. We both live with our parents still but we are looking for apartments to live in after we get married.
The problem is we both want to set a date in Nov. but my father doesnt want to hear of a date right now. He wants for us to wait it out after sometime when he can see we are ((financially secure)). My parents say we are only gonna survive off ramen noodles and they even printed out budget lists that they filled out thinking we will have. Whenever I approach my father about a date, he becomes angry. He even went on to say normal engagements can sometime last 2 years!! This is causing us alot of fustration and I thought engagements are suppose to be a happy/exciting time. We love each other and simply want to start preparing for a wedding.
We have decidied to tell him of the planned date soon but I need to know how to go about this because I just want there to be peace for everyone. I have full confidence that my partner and I are capable of living on our own. Im 25 and I know feelings are fickle but I feel like my parents are treating us like children. I would appreciate any help...Thank You for your time.
I dont know if it has something to do with the fact that I am the only girl (last born) in my family and my older brothers are still not married.
I suspect that your parents think that by delaying the marriage, you may change your mind.
As it is now, you are going from mom and dad right into a marriage. Have you ever really been on your own?
You say you both live with your parents. How about you getting an apartment, setting yourself up and then deciding about marriage? That way you can show your parents that you can budget your own money.
What do your siblings think?
This must be the first real mature decision you make. Entering into a marriage means you entering in an ADULT committed relationship.
I believe it's all how you start out. Allowing your father to decide when "he feels" you and your fiancee are financially stable is not treating or respecting you both as young adult.
The focus should be on your union and not the expensive wedding party. Since you've decided on a November wedding date have you decided on paying for your own wedding?