What should I do??? So lost please help with complicated situation
I dated this girl for 3.5 years and she broke up with me because she "wasn't feeling it anymore" but she wanted to stay friends. Of course I wanted her back and told my best friend I wanted her back and explicitly told her I wanted her back more than anything in the world. 2 weeks after the breakup she had sex with my best friend previously mentioned. No longer friends with him. I still cared for her but I'm not sure I could date her because what she did really hurt me. Am I overreacting? Because she didn't cheat on me after all. Anyways, time passed and she didn't talk to me as much because she split her time between spending time with me and my ex best friend because I didn't want to see him or hear about him or anything.
After about a year of this ongoing mutual friendliness I found another girlfriend. She is very loving and caring and she is an amazing girlfriend any guy would kill for. However, I can't forget about my ex of 3.5 years. My ex stopped talking to me when I got a girlfriend saying "it just hurts too much" and similar things. So obviously she still has some amount of feelings still and I can't forget her so obviously I have some amount of feelings.
First of all I'm not sure if I should even consider dating my ex again after what she did because she broke my trust (they tried to hide it) and killed my long standing and incredibly close best friendship which I have never had before or since. Second, if I should consider getting back with her, should I? I have an amazing girlfriend as is, she cooks and cleans for me and loves everything about me. She is amazing but she has a few personality qualities that annoy me or that I don't agree with. My ex and me definitely had less personality issues.
Any opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated, I sometimes stay up at night thinking about this and sometimes even when I'm with my girlfriend I think of times with my ex.
3.5 years is a long time and you are remembering the good times.
How about remembering that she dropped you because she wasn't feeling it anymore - then turned around and had sex with your best friend! And that friendship was lost, too.
Perhaps your current GF is not the one for you - but either is a GF from the past who hurt you so much.
BTW - I don't get it that you are "considering" dating your ex again. Is she hitting on you, or is this something that you think you can do and she is not even aware about your intentions?
my advice is that neither of these girls sound good for you. what your ex did speaks for itself ,although you weren't together when she slept with your friend, there are a million guys in the world that she could of slept with and she chose your best friend...that to me sounds malicious, she obviously had no thought or concern for how doing that would hurt your feelings and affect your friendship, when you spend 3.5 years with someone you shouldn't just stop caring about them because you aren't together anymore, so personally i don't think she ever had your best interests at heart. its not impossible that you could rekindle with your ex, but like you said yourself you feel that her past will impact your trust in a relationship with her, if you got back with her you would probably find that it wouldn't be the same and it would be short lived anyway.
as for your current girlfriend, as nice as she sounds, your clearly not in love with her otherwise you wouldn't be considering ditching her for your ex! just because someone is nice and does the cooking and cleaning for you, that does not mean that they are right for you, there comes a time where being 'nice' just isn't fulfilling enough....and to me it sounds like your not fulfilled by your relationship with her. but by the sounds of it she is quite committed and dedicated to you, so i don't think its fair that while she is putting the effort in you are having feelings for your ex still. so in my opinion i think its only fair on yourself and your girlfriend if you wipe the slate clean and find someone new, who makes you forget about your ex because she is so amazing, unless you find something that is better than what you had previously you will never be truly satisfied. surely its better to be by yourself than with someone who isn't exactly what you want?
I must be living in the twilight zone because this whole episode is getting downright bazaar. Yesterday my wife sends a text message to Mr. Wonderful cancelling her FREE massage appointment for Thursday of this week at his apartment. In her message she says;
“To be honest with you, I’m cancelling my appointment for the second time because my husband feels very uncomfortable for me to have a massage by you at your private residence. I think he is being very silly but I must respect his wishes. Is there any possibility that you could come to my private studio next week?”
She works from her own studio, alone, so what the hell is the difference from going to his apartment or him coming to her studio. Either way she would be alone with him. I just don’t get how she can justify in her mind by stating that she wants to respect my wishes, yet invites him to her private studio. This whole thing has not made any sense to me from the beginning! Never have I seen such strange behavior from her in our 52 year marriage.