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Overcoming family objections of interracial relationship

Posted by
JESS20
on Mar 28 2016 at 08:50
Member since: 28 March 2016
Relationship advice I am brought up in a traditional Asian family where I have to follow the "pre-set" path of studying since I was a kid, getting good grades and engage in a white collar profession. Well, conflicts with my family happens when I started to "venture" out after graduated. For example, a conflict that has always been on-going is my involvement in contact sport, even I made it to international level which mum perceives it as bringing shame to the family and had multiple times threaten me with her life or wanted to disown me.

Well, things got worse lately especially she found out that I'm dating a black guy who is my coach. I have been dating this guy for two years and we both are really planning a future together. Again, mum threatens me with her life and even dad's life as she claimed that I will cause dad to fall sick or have heart attack/stroke if he ever finds out me dating a black guy.

She claims that this guy is poor with no proper profession and black is the lowest status of race in the community and I bring shame to family. There's no way I can talk to mum and she only wants me to leave this guy. I'm being perceived as rebellious, heartless, "low class" by mum. I really love her and want to take care of her but she wont accept us. Now i'm even more worried to let dad knows about it. Both my sisters are also disappointed with me. I really don't know what to do, coz I really don't want leave this guy and I don't wish to hurt my family.

Overcoming family objections of interracial relationship

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Mar 28 2016 at 14:54
Member since: 27 December 2013
'conflicts with my family happens when I started to "venture" out after graduated."

Some thoughts:

Sounds like you are the family "rebel" - so claim that title in this situation, too.

Looks like your family has survived your other "rebellious" or non-conforming lifestyle. I'm sure they will survive again this time.

Family Games: Your family faces the prospect of losing you totally, so that's why they push/pull you around and threaten their own self-harm.

Sanity check: make sure this man in your life is of good character, able to provide for you, is devoted, will make a good father, has $$, etc, etc. - and that this attraction is just not you wanting to flex your "rebellion" muscle with your family again.

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