Do I have romantic feelings for my friend?
Here's the thing. I met her for the first time at work back in October of last year. She added me on Facebook and we talked a bit, but we didn't exactly *know* each other. However, around December we started talking a bit more. Roughly less than a week before Christmas, she invited me to lunch with her one day when she was working with me. Among other things, she would also go out of her way to speak to me often, drag me to random spots in the store to show or tell me something, and was just very attentive to me in general. I don't have a lot of self confidence and I automatically assume that everyone I meet isn't gonna take anything more than a casual interest in me for awhile, and then just kind of forget about me. Once she invited me to lunch that day, I of course happily accepted.
After that, I started taking a heavy interest in her. I would frequently hope we would clock out and walk out of the store together (which we did a few times), and I hoped in the back of my mind that she would invite me to go somewhere with her after work (which she also did a few times; the only reason we didn't is because I was sick). I still chalk this up to generally feeling lonely and just really wanting a friend who pays attention to me, though. But anyway, right before the new year I asked her for her phone number, and then we started texting each other frequently. Even up to today we talk to each other almost every day; some days it's just a few words or sentences, and other days we will literally talk off and on for 2-3 hours (and I admit, I love it when that happens).
I got to the point where I started asking her if we could hang out, not the other way around. I started getting super paranoid that she was just making excuses not to do it and that she really didn't like me after all, but eventually we did hang out at her ex-then-roommate's house. We were alone together but we didn't do anything sexual. From then on our friendship continued to develop. We confide in each other, we found out over time that we relate to each other in a lot of ways (she has some of the same insecurities that I have, for example), and we're now best friends (she doesn't consider me her best BEST friend, but one of them).
At first I wasn't interested in having sex with her much. But as our friendship developed I found myself wanting it more and more. There was one night we were having a casual conversation about sex; she was sexting a long-distance friend of hers while talking to me and she was really turning me on (I made that known too, lol). I ended up having to watch porn that night for a release. Now I found myself unable to ignore the fact that I wanted sex with her, and so a few days later I told her. She didn't mind me telling her at all, but told me that she refused to do it in fear that it would start to complicate our feelings and potentially ruin the friendship, since it has apparently happened to her before. I really respect that, because I would not want that either.
I find myself confiding in her more and more, and I find myself wanting to find any reason to talk to her on a daily basis (but I sometimes let her message me first, since I feel like I'm bothering her otherwise). Like, I don't even care what it's about. Just talking about anything at all with her makes me happy. We could be talking about food or the sky or what she did today or yesterday or whatever and I would still enjoy it, just because I'm talking to her. I get a warm feeling in my chest when I think about how much I love her as a friend (and that does not happen often). I get paranoid and worried if she doesn't reply for an extended period of time and I constantly worry that she'll end up hating me for something I say or do. It's gotten to the point where I'm so attached to her I think I'm terrified of losing her.
She has also confided in me of course, and we've told each other multiple times how much we mean to each other. We would also hold each other when we're feeling particularly down if given the chance. I've told her I would let her cry on me as I hold her, and we've even said we would cuddle with each other. She's sweet, loving, and very understanding and I feel like I can tell her absolutely anything and not be judged for it. I can be myself, basically. Like if I make a perverted joke, she doesn't mind; she'll actually find them funny since she's pretty perverted herself. We've shared multiple secrets with each other and basically, we've gotten super close. We would talk for several hours throughout the day when she had surgery and was out of work for a few weeks. I genuinely loved all of that.
I'm just not sure if I just feel super strongly about her as a friend or if maybe something else is developing. Currently I don't feel any romantic attraction to her on the surface, but I do feel VERY strongly about her as a friend and would quite literally do anything I could to help her out if she ever needed it. I get very emotional with her and I'm not sure why, since I normally don't confide in *anyone* this much. But with her...I just want to talk to her, I want her to want to talk to me. I'm also pretty positive I would absolutely love sex with her, but that's also because I've always thought sex with friends sounded like fun, and she has a lot of experience in the bedroom from the way she talks. On the other hand, I'm not sure if that could also be signs of something else developing, since I'm not really sure she's my type exactly, yet I still pretty strongly want to have sex with her.
I've never been in a relationship and have never slept with a girl, and given my strong feelings for her in general, I'm not sure what I feel. I chalk it up to a strong platonic interest, but I thought I'd look for some input anyway.
If you want to move this relationship OUT of the friend zone - where it is firmly entrenched - you are going to have to ACT.
That means becoming romantic, making passes at her, kissing and touching (foreplay), and seducing her.
Are you up for that?