My problem is that,10yrs ago I txt an ex during a rough time at home & spoke with him over a week end that resulted in me getting extremely drunk and telling him I was deleting his number otherwise I'd end up wanting sex with him!I have no idea why I sent that mess & instant regret, although he never received the mess because I had found this mess in a drafts box and so did my partner!
While my partner flew into a rage to be expected all I did was sit and take it while scared at what was happening,my partner wanted to know everything that had happened and so I told him although I didn't say I had actually spoke as well as txt him that week end,I love my partner so so much and I really don't know why I did what I did and hate myself for it!
Anyway rewind 10yrs on and my partner all these years kept saying I was keeping something from him convinced I had met up with him and had sex but I promise I did not at all,the txt was all that happened and since then my partner has been told that I did actually speak to him over the phone!
My partner now does not trust me at all and it's causing massive problems at home!I really don't know how to regain his trust and when he has doubts and questions me unfortunately I fly off the handle because it's been so many years and I know I didn't take it any further but because I lied about talking to the ex and what was said he is still torturing himself!
How do I fix my relationship when I feel no matter what or how I deal with this he will never regain trust?
Are you saying that an incident 10 YEARS ago is still festering in your current relationship?
If it wasn't this issue it would have been something else. You need speak up for yourself tell him 7-10yrs is long enough to be torment. Tell him again you made a mistake, that you regret hurting him. Suggest going into counseling, if there is no sign that he can or will change, are ?you willing to remain in this relationship
The txt mess that he read didn't make sense because it looked like the mess was a reply, he asked me what mess where in between and for the life of me I do not remember because I was drunk!
He kept asking and asking, each time I would say something different that he either didn't know already or didn't fit what I had said, each time I would say that's it, I have told you everything and each time there was a little bit more but I never said,when I say bit more, what i mean is I had said I sent a random message when I was drunk that night but I obviously had conversation with him that I can't recall.
Now it was 7ys later that I told him about the txt saying I was going to delete his number & that I had spoke to him over the phone.
I should have just said everything from the start because I just made the situation a whole lot worse really and made him think I was actually in some sort of affair (that I wasn't).
This has been ongoing since it began because I never told the whole truth about the texting and phone call, and now that I told him he says how can he trust me after each time he asked the story would be different.
I keep blaming myself for this every day because I put us in this situation,even though it's gone on all this time do you think I should keep trying or have I completely ruined my family? Over a stupid bloody txt?
WHY are YOU willing to keep this dead issue alive?
Tell your man to GROW UP and work on your relationship because he is driving you away from him with his incessant quizzing.
REFUSE to discuss this with him. He is being immature. He is like a child who will pester until he gets his way (which, MAY really be that he wants you to leave him!)
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