PeoplesProblems Logo

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
Relationship advice Ok so here's my problem. I have been having threesomes with my best friend and her boyfriend. Things were going smooth and it was totally cool. But I started to have feelings for one of our mutual friends. I haven't told this person that I liked him yet because the time wasn't right.

But I told my best friend that I liked this guy. And the very week she invites this guy over and they have a threesome with him. Then afterwards she tells him that I liked him. My best friend tried to keep it a secret from me. Then a few days later the guy I liked told me about it.

When I confronted her about it she said she doesn't regret it and she acted like she was doing me a favor. I was so hurt I quit talking to all three of them. I'm not hurt about the sex I'm hurt because she betrayed my trust. And hurt because sex was picked over my feelings. It made me feel totally worthless and backstabbed.

I miss them like crazy but I shouldn't put myself back into that situation. I need some encouragement to feel strong enough to stay away. It just hurts that they have each other and im having to go through this alone.

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
Your bf should not have told him your feelings, she should have let you do that. But it doesn't sound like she was being mean or vindictive, just perhaps helping you get over this lack of communication. Her way of filling the gap doesn't sound like it was teh best approach. She shouldn't have lied to you. But you might consider patching up with her. BF's are hard to find..

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
This is one horrible side effect of threesomes. At some point in time feelings get involved people get hurt. Why did she feel that she was doing you a favor?

My vote stay away. Find your own man and share with NO ONE!!!!

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
I guess she thinks she did me a favor by telling the guy that I liked him and she doesn't think I should be upset that they had a threesome with him. I'm not upset about the sex I'm upset because she didn't discuss it with me first after knowing that I liked him.

And the fact that she tried to hide it and she lied about it multiple times when I asked her is why I know I can never trust her. Its been over a month since it happened and it the hurt feels the same as it did on day one. I just can't seem to get past it but I know I need to stay away from the situation. What makes it worse is that we all work at the same place so its super awkward and it hurts me see them together going about their normal day as if nothing is wrong and im over here with a broken heart.

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
I agree. Threesomes don't work. This one has a new dimension.

She's trying to show you that SHE is the ALPHA Female in this scenario. SHE controls and determines everything. She was punishing you for taking your feelings outside of the original threesome, where she was not in control

The fact that she disregards you and your feelings reveals all that.

Lesson learned.

BTW - You don't mention the new guy. Are you seeing him?

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
No I cut ties with all three of them. I agree with the alpha female aspect too. I think her control issues is why she did this. And she is also a great manipulator. She tried to pass it off like she was just trying to get me and the new guy together. That was the excuse she gave me for doing it. And its total bs. See I'm a very shy person so the only friends I can make are very outgoing dominant people so I'm always the one that gets hurts which in turn makes me even more shy. So its like a hamster wheel I can't get off of. But I know it needs to change.

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
First, forgive them. Forgive her. Then just go on. I dont think there is a reason for you to have them like it was before. I mean she knows you among everyone else, so for me she should have known by then that it wont make you comfortable but she still did. Just move on. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to people even they are precious to you and that's when they are not anymore giving you respect and privacy that you need.

Betrayed by a best friend :(

Default profile image
A best friend would not tell your secret to some guy just because she feels like it. Obviously you cannot trust her, and if you can't, then is time to move on. You'll meet some people worthy to have in your life and spend your time with. And i agree with most people above, find a man and share it with no one. that's the way it should be and make girlfriends that will genuinely be there on your side to support you and help you when you need them. good luck!

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2