Need advice on my rollercoaster of a relationship
Okay so I'm 16 (17 in under a month) and my girlfriend has recently turned 16. We have been together for 9 months and we've been so up and down. Weve had great times, made each other happy and laugh and just generally had perfect moments together, and then we argue. A lot. Like she is approaching an exam period so she is stressed and she keeps saying that it's best for us to have a break until she's finished her exams. I don't want that to happen because I know from other people who take breaks with their partner over the exams, they drift away and don't get back together. I've been a bit unfair on her recently, we've made eachother cry due to arguments and jus talking to each other poorly. And she is coming over later to talk about things.
What do I do? What do I say? I said I'm sorry and want to have another crack at making it work but I feel as if she wants a breakup. Do I kiss her and just hope that it all goes away? I'm not very good with talking so her coming round to talk about things will be tough for me. I just need advice on what to do and what to say later on. Any advice is useful. Thanks
I'm sure you can relate to the stress of taking exams. First apology for being selfish.
What does she want from you during this time that you're not willing to do? Of course she should focus on her exams and you need to support her by being understanding. Surprising her with flowers might help your conversation go a little smoother.
As hard and scary as it can be, try just being honest with her. Speaking in terms of the present, and future: tell her what you want, and what you don't. Ask her to tell you the same. Be honest, kind, and most of all - realistic. Don't expect something you can't give yourself, and don't focus so much on tomorrow you lose today AND tomorrow. If you both want the same things, then it's just a matter of working out the boundaries and finding a compromise that works for you both. If you each want different things, then you need to both ask yourselves, and each other, if being together will ever really work. I remember what it's like to be young and in love. You believe this is it. She is the one. If she is? You'll know, and so will she. A break won't hurt you, but help you. If this is not your forever love, the break will indeed be a temporary bandaid that won't heal anything. And it would be fairer to you, and her, to accept that, learn what you can from it, and move on. Moving on is way less painful that clinging to a relationship that won't serve either of your best interests. So find a few seconds of insane courage, be honest with her, and remember her need for time may not have anything to do with how she feels about you. Try not to take it personally if that's the case.
Hope this helps. Good luck!