Is deciding about marriage easy?
Hi everyone I am from subcontinent south Asia. I am 28 and met a girl last year on internet. But we only started talking regularly since November. By regularly I mean daily. There have been only few days when we couldn't talk. Our means of communication have been text messages only. We talked on phone twice and had video chat thrice in all this time. I told her everything about me and felt her to be a little secretive. We really did enjoyed talking to each other and found out a lot of common things between us.
After three months of text messaging and two voice calls I told her that I liked her. Next day she told me that I'm "the one" for her and that she trusts me completely. Yeah, I was a little shocked, that she could decide that easily. I told her that I need more to decide so I asked her to meet. But, she couldn't because of her conservative eastern culture. So I asked her to video call and we did after a lot of persuasion.
But she grew distant from me as she had told me that she wants to marry me and I haven't decided yet. Which is right on her part, because it must be embarrassing for her. I really do like her but I wanted to meet her first and her family and she mine and then decide.
She said that I have seen her picture, video called her and texted her enough so that I should know by now. Now she wants me to talk to her only if I ask her father for her hand in marriage.
My question are
1) Is it that easy to decide on text messages who will be your life partner?
2) Am I missing something? Should I know better?
Trust your own instincts. You feel uncomfortable promising yourself to marriage with a woman you have not met in person, or her family, or anything about her, except over the internet.
Slow down. Meet everyone. Get to know her. Do not let her force you into anything.
(I know no culture that does not allow marriage partners to get to know each other before marrying. Is this something you are familiar with? Is this common? Is this an arranged marriage?)
Thank you for your Reply SUSIEDQQ.
I've never been in a relationship before. Marriage is usually only real romantic relationship in my community, and that lasts till you're in grave so I got only one shot maan (Lol). I have to be very careful.
I do know people who have met online and got married later. In all cases either love or arranged parents/elders do get involved.
This is not an arranged marriage. We met online...she fell for me now wants to marry me...I am not sure if I want to marry her yet. I can't trust my instincts to judge people, especially people who I'm going to spend my life with. I want to do all background check (Lol).
Thanks again for replying.
P.S. Hope you are doing well, I read your alias as suicide and two eyes with tears.