What can I do to fix my relationship?
I have been with my husband for 5 years. We both came from bad marriages and to make it worse there is a 20 year age gap between us.
I don't know if it's me being to sensitive but he always makes me feel so worthless. I know I must have done something wrong by the way he wont look at me and snaps at everything I say. I try so hard to think about every tiny little thing I may have done to make him angry and come up with nothing. This goes on for a few days until I get so upset with him snapping at me and doing spiteful things towards me that I get angry and ask him what I have done to make him so angry at me and he says" I don't know" or "nothing". I say there must be some reason you are treating me like this and he replies "is there". How do you sort things out with these stupid games he plays, why can't he just answer the question. After a while of these stupid answers he sometimes finally tells me it was something like I left the door to the laundry open when he was trying to keep the house cool. It was an accident, I spend all evening every day doing house work and cleaning up after him and his son and I must have forgot to close it. Is it really that bad. Sometimes it's things a little worse that I have done to make him angry. But I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around him, even if he seems happy, it could change in the blink of an eye. I don't know what to do he makes me so angry with this crap all the time that I find myself snapping back at him and getting angry. But I can't help it. Just when I think things are going really well something happens and he treats me like **** again and says horrible things. He has started writing a diary every day which was meant to be for business purposes with what he did that day, but one day he was angry and wouldn't tell me why and I was sick of him being nasty so I read his diary to try and find out what was wrong. I found he had been writing things about me. Never anything nice. He had a business fax come through and I didn't know until I was working on the computer at night and I gave it to him straight away. He said when did this f***n come through and I said I don't know I just saw it. I read the diary in the morning and he wrote 'the f***n smart **** didn't give me the fax until 8:00. Useless f***n idiot. His ex wife used to do that to him, like keeping things from him to hurt him and keeping business cheques so he would have no money. He knows I would never do that to him. When he is happy he is so nice and says he loves me. I just want us to be happy together. I don't want to break up but that's what every one is suggesting. We have only been married a few months. Am I overreacting?
Sounds to me as if he is taking advantage of you.. Stop doing things for him and tell him why. That should set him right and suggest councelling.