The woman I love with all of my tenderness and above everything, light of my life, has been
sustaining an affair with another man due to sexual dissatisfaction. I had no idea of what
she was doing until Istarted noticing she felt different during sex. It did not feel the way
it used to. It felt more loosed and more stretched than usual. We've been married for almost
two years. I love this woman above anything. I work for a highly prestigious firm of engineers
and I earn a very good money. I've been able to purchase a highly elegant, highly luxurious
manor in a highly wealthy residential area. I've paid for her reallyexpensive beauty treatments
that have turned her into a delicately beautiful human jewel. I constantly purchase for her
expensive fur coats, expensive jewelry and expensive make-up kits from the finest brands. I
bought her an ultimate model automobile from Chrysler. And I also purchased a luxury apartment
for her with one of the most beautiful views you can possibly get. Her mother was seriously ill
and I put the money to send her on a trip to a prestigious medical center overseas where they
offer the kind of treatment she needs and upon her return, she is well and cured and is happier
and livelier thsn ever. Her brother, very dear to her, was in a serious problem with the law
which could have costed him a tough sentence and I paid one of the best lawyers around and a
settlement was reached and they set him free, with her embracing him with tears in her eyes.
Her youngest sister is going to college next year, and I bought her a brand new toyota model
so that she can go to work while she studies. I guess I've done whatever is in my power to
make this woman happy!
She treats me well and there's been a lot of love and connection between the both of us. Our
sex life -so I thought- was very good and she seemed to enjoy being with me in bed for hours.
So, I'm not too sure of what went wrong! Suddenly, upon my coming back from a short business
trip I made, something felt different! It was as if for some reason something didn't smell the
same. Her attitude towards me was the same, lovely as usual, but something was or wasn't there.
For some reason my sixth sense told me something was wrong. When I went to bed with her, it felt
different and it didn't fix or got any better. So I started to suspect something wasn't right.
But I decided to keep silent and feign I didn't notice anything. But I decided to watch her and
follow her around. I checked her mobile phone and her e-mails and facebook accounts, but nothing
unusual. Whatever was going on was very carefully dissimulated. I managed to hide a camera in the
garden area in front of the main door, but no images of any man coming or going in or out of the
house has ever been recorded. The only images recorded are of her going out of the house and
returning one, two or three hours later, usually from a gym she goes to. It took me hiring a
detective I paid too well. He started to follow her around. And did he informed me of all he
found! I couldn't and still can't believe all that was shown to me. As I saw every picture and
video it was as if a sharp knife pierced my heart! I never thought her capable of such dishonsty
to me, after all the love and tenderness I've given her and after all I've done to satisfy her
and make her little wishes a beautiful dream come true! How can she do this to me? I love her
with all tenderness of my heart, she is the light So many years waiting for her in prayer, asking
God time and time again to put me on the path to her. When I finally met her, she was the most
noble woman a man can ever dream of seeing. So pure. So delicate. So honest. So hardworking. So
transparent. So simple. So goodhearted.A woman rarely seen nowadays. The look in her eyes was so
pure, so clean and profound, that it reached me deep inside and left me impressed. Her beautiful
eyes. Her purity! The simple, clear and honest speech of hers. All that made her so different from
the others! I started dreaming, happy that at last I've met her! I started arriving earlier to a
cafeteria nearby, with the excuse of buying breakfast. But my real intentions were meeting her.
And yes, she was there at the proper hour. So I found the excuse to talk to her and began by
asking a question. She gladly informed me. So I inmediately went on and a brief conversation
started. She ended up giving me her name and I mine. Next day I was there with flowers, which
I gave her and she thanked me with a smile. I told her that the information she had given me the
previous day was valuable. And as I gsve her the flowers, I had attached a card with my name and
number, so that she could call me if she needed me. But I kept going there early every morning
with flowers for her. That day the public trasportation was paralized due to a strike and she
wouldn't arrive on time to her office, so I took her there in my car. I also told her that if
transportation wasn't working in the afternoon due to the strike still going on, not to go home
on foot as it was far away, but to call me to the number I provided her in the card and I would
gladly come pick her up. And she did call! And it all started there! She accepted my invitation
to diner at an elegant restaurant. We danced that night! She gave me her number and I called and
kept calling! We exchanged opinions about a million things. We had conversations for two to three
hours over the phone every night. She laughed at every ocurrence of mine. And then I started
expressing my feelings and impressions about her beauty. Thus romance took place between she and I.
We became each other's universe. Our feelings for each other always were strong.
As I remember those little moments of our love, tears come down my cheeks. I can't understand
how is it that I came to loose her. I've always tried to be so loving and romantic to her. I've
treated her literally like a queen, spending high amounts of my earnings to give her the happy,
good life she deserves. I've equipped her with everything. Plus I continously work on myself to
keep her attracted to me. I lift weights. I run marathons. I swimm. I do gymnastics. I play tennis,
golf and polo. I play guitar and piano. I've wrote poems for her and I even started a draw and
paint course to paint pictures of her and one these days, present them to her as an unexpected
urprise. I text her continously! I bring all kinds of surprises home for her! And I DO NOT FORGET
special dates and occassions as anniversaries, birthdays, thanksgiving, christmas, st. valantine
and the like. I really, really pay much attention to my woman.
When I finally decided to confront her I told her that it was my belief there was something
she wasn't telling me and that I feared it was something serious (I've not shown her the
pictures and photos the detective gave me of her embracing, kissing and laughing with another
man). She started to deny firmly, with such a conviction and strength that if not because I
have the pictures, I would have believed her. Thanks heaven she hasn't outsmart me yet! I
told her that I've began noticing certain small but significant changes indicative of something
serious and that I wanted to take her to the physician for a medical check up, and that it was
not optional for her. So, very much against her will, and at my request I had her accompany me
to the clinic for some tests and laboratories. I suspected she had become infected with an STD,
since she began showing certain symptoms she didn't previously have and which the doctor
informed me were symptoms proper of a person who has had a sexual contact. The doctor performed
laboratories on me and found me in perfect state of health, and so he informed me that it was
not probable that those symptoms presented by my wife came from any sexual contact with me,
but that unfortunately,those were symptoms of an STD and that she must have had sexual contact
with somebody else,in order to contract them. I already mentioned that from a time I feel her
different in her vagina. It is more loosed, more stretched and deeper. It definitely doesn't
feel the same! I talked to a friend of hers, and she told me that my wife told her that she
was feeling sexually frustrated and dissatisfied, as she wasn't experiencing orgasms. And as a
result, she had started to feel tempted to find for herself a lover,
another man that knows how to give orgasms to a woman.
I will definitely use the pictures and all the evidence to file for divorce and I will request
the court to giveme the custody of my children. My spiritual director advised me to take the
kids from her amd to remain with the custody, since that woman is unfaithful and ungrateful and
because he is witness that I've been a reponsible, caring,loving and loyal husband and an excellent
dad. He is of the opinion that because of the excellent way I'vetreated her and because of all the
beautiful things I've given her, she could have handled the problem of sexualdissatisfaction in a
different, more responsible way. That her getting herself another man has been a childish and
foolish act of hers, since there is a lot of information available out there from which she could
have learned the proper technique of getting an orgasm and then teach it to me. That was the least
she could have done for a man who like me has given her his "very, very, very best". And that there
are sexologysts out there who can furnishus with all kinds of information on a woman sexual
dissatisfaction and the appropriate techniques to cause a woman to orgasm.
As a result of this, I went to a sexologyst personally and told her about my wife's problem. She
told me that lack of orgasms is a problem very common among women. And that lack of knowledge of
how to provide these much needed orgasms to women was also very common among men. In fact, I confess,
I did not know myself how to cause an orgasm to my wife. I never learned that from porno magazines,
movies or videos or from word of mouth. The sexologyst told me that causing orgasm to a woman has
nothing to do with penile penetration or intercourse. She said that it is the use of the finger
applied to right area the one thing responsible for inmensely pleasurable orgasms in a woman. And
that use of the penis doesn't get the job done! She suggested me some videos that would explain
and show the rightfingering technique that causes a woman to ejaculate. I went ahead and ordered
those videos minutes after finishing my conversation with the sexologyst. After watching those
videos, I was surprised at how simple it is making woman explode in continous, non-stop intense
orgasms and you only use your finger or hand. Mastering this makes a woman addicted to the man
who causes her to gush like a geyser. And the absence of this simple knowledge is causing thousands
of woman to be unfaithful to their husbands, many of them not suspecting a thing for years and years.
Loving, caring, good, faithful and responsible men, deeply in love with their wives (like me) being
cheated for not knowing a simple fingering technique. And for that simplicity (using your finger in
her vagina, which she could have bothered to learn from one of her female friends or from a sexologyst
or from a dvd, and then teach it to me (I would have gladly finger her properly had I known this), she
changed me and all the beautiful, good things I've given her with so much love and tenderness, for
another man, who simply knew this fingering technique. That other guy is not even as tall and elegant
as I am and doesn't even earn the level of income that I do and much less can he give her all that
I can. The beauty she is giving him in bed, and which he so much enjoys, belongs to me, her husband,
the one who has spent thousands of dollars from his paycheck to pay for her expensive non-surgical
beauty treatments (in which she's been for months) that have transformed her into a complete human
jewel. I get praised most of the time by other men for having a wife this beautiful! That beauty is
mine, belongs to me and as her rightful husband, I claim what is mine! I didn't take it from nobody
else! I conquered this woman because I loved her and she was the most amazing, wonderful girl, pure
of heart and mind, that I've ever seen! She has no right to give to any other man what belongs to me!
I've been a very faithful husband. I've been a very good provider. I've been a very caring, tender
and sweet lover in bed, lasting long enough in intercourse after ejaculation, and doing lots of
foreplay and all things she likes. I've been very loving and caring with her loved ones, her family,
who became dear to me. I've treated all those who are important and significant to her with love,
respect and consideration. I've never ashamed her neither in public nor in private. I do not raise
my voice to her in anger and I treat her in a very fine, nice, elegant and considerate manner. I
always pay attention to not hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable, ignored or unhappy.
I do not promote an environment of intimidation at home. I always try to motivate and stimulate her
and I always compliment and praise her and bring her lots of interesting, curious, exciting or even
exotic things. I always try to teach or lead not with words, but with patience and example. It's
sometimes difficult, but I prefer to gradually get her used to a higher, better and more advanced
form of thinking and way of doing and handling things. I truly want to form a highly distinguished
and polished family, a family I can be proud of. I waited many, many years for this, while preparing
and carefully getting ready for married life. So when I finally met the one my heart went crazy for,
I was ready to give her my very best. All the trials, difficulties and hardships life gave me before
getting to where I now am, I utilized to cultivate the best in myself, earn the respect of everyone
around me and to become a highly disciplined individual. When I met her, her wonderful qualities made
me crazy. At last I find the one, I thought! My spiritual director and all those who have known me
throughout the years know this very well. They all agree that I've been as good as i can. So, what
went wrong? Why she didn't tell me about her dissatisfaction, even though she knew I would do
anything to make her happy and whole? Why she didn't mention a word to me? She knows that I'm a
very mature, open-minded and understanding man. And that I love listening to her and taking all
she says very seriously! Why didn't she say word even though she knew I would do anything to find
the answer, as I in fsct already have? Honestly, i don't think I deserve this from her. She's gone
too far and I'm hurt, dishonored and profoundly and seriously dissappointed of her. I just cannot
ever trust her again! I don't deserve this! I will definitely file for divorce and request custody
of my children, as my director strongly urges me to do!
I'm also concerned about her family. I've not yet told them anything, but I defifnitely will. I
know they do not expect this kind of behaviour from a woman they carefully educated. Also, our
acquaintances will get the sad news, too! They all have a high opinion of me and I fear they
will seriously pound on her! The consequences of her childish, irresponsible act, as I can
foresee, are awful! The problem is that I am quickly and seriously falling out of love with her.
I'm seriously hurt and dissappointed. She could have had handled things differently. We would
have both been still very happy! But she just spoiled and ruined it all, and mostly herself!
I definitely no longer want her! And our acquaintances are sure to pound on her and tear her
apart once i decide to tell them the truth and all that she's done to me! And it all adds the
fact that she has symptoms of having contracted an STD, so she was putting me in risk of being
When the detective I hired showed me the photos and images, I cried sadly that night! I was
truly hurting and was feeling devastated. But i also knew I've given her my very best and
that I don't deserve this. This has given methe courage to take a firm stand. I don't think
she has an excuse. She could have handled this more wisely and intelligently, by simply saying
her problem to me. She did not care! This has been too low an act from her! I don't feel like
taking silly, stupid and cheap excuses. I'm taking swift action!
Now the case is that all these orgasm provoking techniques I've learned i don't want to use them
on her. I would have gladly performed them on her, but I no longer want. She does not merit it!
She preferred another man. I told all this to a femalre friend that I met years ago and that we
both have remained good friends all this long! Now, this one is an excellent girl. Pride of her
family! She has always sent me signals of being in love with me! I also enjoy her company a lot
and I like her very much, she always rejoices my heart and I think she is very gorgeous and
attractive. I simply did not have a loving interest in her. She has given me lots of support in
my situation with my wife and has proven to have a great healing power with her words, her support,
her encouragement, her under standing, her wisdom in counseling and advising and her intelligence
at handling and analyzing problems and difficulties. She is a beautifully wise and acute problem
solver. Not the kind of girl that would bite into cheap baits! She is really a thoughtful female!
I admire her intelligence! Her conduct has always fascinated me! With her support and her being
there for me, she has delivered me from all the shame, anguish, humilliation, dissappointment,
anxiety and deppression that would have fallen upon me had it not been her being there. She has
proven to be so helpful to me, that I feel defended and protected by someone for the first time
in my life (I've always been a loner with very few, if any, friends, before getting married). I
feel like someone truly cares for the first time! I feel her love,I feel her care and I feel her
protection and support in my mind and in my feelings. I don't feel abandoned for the first time
in my life. I finally feel there is somebody else there for me. And I love her and appreciate her
a lot for that. I feel my felings for her are intensifying. I feel her love, her care and her
support! She 's been a loner like me and we have a lot in common. Our lives are truly parallel
and we have a lot, truly a lot in common! She has not had a love relationship yet. She adores
social events. I feel closer and closer to her and I feel that without her I wouln't have handled
my situation properly. I need her presence in my life. I'm really considering proposing to her and
I have already started a relationship with her. I'm definitely going divorce my current wife. She
definitely keeps showing me a love interest, even though she well knows I'm now married! It doesn't
seem to bother her. We were talking and suddenly our conversation felt very romantic and I felt
really good. We started to listen to music together and we kissed. All these months she 's been
very very valuable to me, in my crisis. We have come really close to each other. Divorce is my
Now, I'm planning to propose to my friend and she will definitely accept. There's no possible
doubt in my mind. And I will marry her! I will definitely use the fingering techniques on her
during sex, because I will definitely not loose this one. Not this one!! Too precious to me over
the years! Really a precious gift from heaven. She herself told me that for the kind of husband
that I've been to my current wife, she could have given it a better chance and more thought before
going out to get herself a lover. She saysthat I'm more than worth it and had it been her, she
would have first investigated or ask questions or spoken to a specialist on the options available,
before going that far and risk loosing her marriage like that. She herself does not understand
the thoughtless attitude of my current wife, much less when she knew that by saying something to
me about the problem, I would have found the solution as I have with all the other problems and
difficulties we've come across. As a matter of fact, I already found it! And the sexologyst
commented that that fingering technique is the one that lover surely uses to give her that orgasmic
satisfaction, as penile penetration or mere intercourse alone, regardless of how long you endure,
does not cause orgasm. The fingering technique does when applied to a sensitive area known as the
G-Spot. And the technique is so simple, that it doesn't take a superman or machoman with impressive
iron muscles and a ten or twelve inches penis to cause the ecstasys of orgasm. Nor does it take
lasting too long, say twenty or thirty minutes. A few minutes is all that is needed to make a
woman have a powerful gushing orgasm, by mere use of the finger. Therefore, given these facts,
my current wife was simply not justified to do what she has been doing (cheating). She should
have had spoken her problem. Ask questions. Visit a sexologyst or ask a female married friend.
Look for information on the internet and purchase videos and dvd's. And the answer is more or
less likely to appear quickly. Which is exactly what I, the husband, have come to do. Then, she
should have had taught me the technique, so that from that very night onwards I, her husband,
could give her as many orgasms as she wanted. And therefore we would have still remained a happy
married couple, faithful to each other. She preferred not to act with intelligence and out of
stupidity, risk a wonderful marriage like ours. I gave her all the comfort and well being a man
can possibly give his wife. How wouldn't have I given her the orgasms she so much needed, had I
known the fingering technique and the existence of the G-Spot? Now, because of her stupidity, her
childish attitude of not speaking up on time, and her thougthtless decision of getting a lover,
it is now all over! Our marriage is over, because she did not think of me the way I always think
of her when I do something! She did not honor me or tried to avoid at all costs her being unfaithful.
If she was happy with all the things she enjoyed next to me, I don't know what is she going to do
when I remove most of all I gave her, which is under my name; not hers! We investigated that lover
and he is wanted in other places for theft and other serious offenses. He apparently got a woman
pregnat in other state and she is looking for him. Plus, my current wife will be labeled an
adulteress by our acquaintances, and I know many of them will make sure her offense follows her
everywhere, so a decent man will probably not want a woman like that.
I've seriously given it much thought, and my decision to divorce my current life, to later marry
my now girlfriend, firmly stands. But I felt the need to pour out my heart. Any comments are much
I doubt if your wife had an affair simply because of sex.
I hope that you will at least go to couples counseling to find out why your wife strayed. There is a real lack of communication in your marriage.
This other man did not overwhelm her or treat her like a possession; perhaps that was the attraction.
You really had some sympathy (your huge ego aside) until I read: "I have already started a relationship with her . . ."
Now you are doing the same behavior which you accuse your wife.
It seems there is no advice wanted here. You have put in motion all those things that feed a large ego.
Are you overly proud and conceited normally or are you just desperately trying your best to pump your shrivelled ego back up, including seeking rectificatory validation in the (emotionally) premature arms of another woman?
Also, *are* you lowering yourself to her level or was this new relationship started within a climate wherein by then it were too obvious to anyone that your 'marriage' were over, if simply not yet officially?
"And as I gsve her the flowers, I had **attached a card with my name and number, so that she could call me if she needed me**. But I kept going there early every morning with flowers for her. That day the public trasportation was paralized due to a strike and she wouldn't arrive on time to her office, **so I took her there in my car**. I **also told her that if transportation wasn't working in the afternoon due to the strike still going on, not to go home on foot as it was far away, but to call me to the number I provided her in the card and I would gladly come pick her up**."
Hi, gorgeous, my name's SIRDARRICK and I'd *love* to be your personal, free-of-charge lackey come chauffeur come *dad*, says the over-keen pre-payer! / Deal!, says the gold-digger.
And everything else stemmed from that base dynamic on-offer made crystal-clear.
(Gold-diggers, once they get too used to rolling around in the gold, tend to eventually grow bored of it and seek new self-gratifying challenges (still wealthy man - via ill-gotten gain - but 'exciting' with it). Not so the love-digger.)
" I loved her and she was the most amazing, wonderful girl, pure of heart and mind, that I've ever seen!"
Evidently *not*, wouldn't you now have to concede?
Well educated academically she may be, but her parents/family should think about pounding themselves before they pound her - *and* her brother aka co-apple as fell from that same tree - for not having educated her (or he) *morally* and for having instilled or reinforced in her (and he) a gross sense of selfish, self-obsessed, over-entitlement (Taker x 2 seeks Giver, be it an individual or a group/society), don't you think?
ALMOST right qualities, in terms of the hard-work ethic (but bar the attitude that money can buy you love or count as heart insurance as rendered you a prime co-dependant and enabler) - wrong recipient. Next time (and there will be a next time if you can work on your self-worth irrespective of material wealth and so-called social status), try not to float away first with the Impatience and then the Honeymoon and Self-Indulgent-Over-Giving fairies to the extent where your powers of scrutiny and judgement go for a Burton and you get taken as a Sugar Daddy who needs nothing to keep him happy other than to give-give-give, help-help-help. Oh, and don't do the usual pendulum-swing to the opposite-extreme type as a reaction to this whole event, either, or you'll just end up with the opposite-extreme problem or role-reversal; try to be more balanced and then you'll attract/keep a likewise more balanced individual.
In short, walk into the room heart-first BUT self-worth-first too (as waits for reciprocation), not wallet-first. Or don't complain if the scent you gave off ended up attracting a 'wallet bee' with your life complacency spilling over into your attitude towards your primary relationship. Put another way, what you basically did was ASSUME that the car you fancied in the car showroom couldn't possibly be a lemon considering what you thought was your all-too-apparent air of distinction and hence handed your currency (heart) over after having paid inadequate attention during the too-short test-drive. CLEARLY you made up your mind too early - before you even met her, I'd say! - forming un-shiftable opinions that you then made her fit with in your mind. And I say 'clearly' because here you are, STILL waxing lyrical in denial about what an utter diamond she was when her actions to beat ALL actions prove the highly distinct opposite! See what I'm saying?
PS: I don't know what your spiritual doctor is talking about. Crap wife does not automatically equate in the court's eyes to abusive mother unworthy of the normal custody rights.
"is that apparently she was frequently complaining in front of them of being deeply dissatisfied sexually for not being experiencing orgasms. Her friend confessed to me that she was desperate and frustrated out not being able to reach the ecstasy. And she was apparently commenting on feeling strongly tempted to finding herself a lover who knew how to make her have one. To me this was astonishing, as all of this time I thought we were having great sex and that she felt ok. At no point did she complained or let me know something was bothering her or making her feel dissatisfied. Not a word! Which leaves me confused,"
Well, allow me to un-confuse you:
WAKE UP! [slap-slap-slap!] STOP BEING SO GULLIBLE! She was just 'cleverly' preparing the ground to ensure her friends wouldn't judge her (appropriately) harshly for her shoddy decision to have her cake and eat it. She's undoubtedly the type who isn't *comfortable* with being happy and comfortable, it's not their comfort zone so it makes them feel like things are somehow WRONG and they have to mess it up in order to be back in a state and situation they know how to handle and live with. Look at her brother's actings-out and NUFF SAID.
There WASN'T any so-called sexual dissatisfaction, but it was an excuse she knew you (because of your sexual pride and insecurity) would swallow, focus on and readily take part-blame and feel guilty over. Because if you feel however much responsible, you'll WHAT NOW? That's right - instantly forgive and not end the marriage (meaning, they'll get away with it scott-free). Half the time there doesn't even NEED to be a problem in the marriage and it's merely that they believe you love them soooo much, sooo unconditionally, that basically you're so nice BECAUSE YOU'RE DESPERATE (something your give-give-give behaviour confirmed and reinforced) that they could do literally *anything* and you wouldn't DARE reject them.
It's fine to be 'so nice'. In fact, it's a show of strength. But not to those types. They're only nice IF THEY'RE NEEDY/DESPERATE, ergo... You should only give-give-give if you're simultaneously seeing THEM give-give-give in response.
This drivel about sexual dissatisfaction is classic, textbook, cheater B*LLSH*T ...*and* actually very flattering to you for the simple fact of it being THE ONLY EXCUSE SHE COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF THAT MIGHT CARRY ANY PLAUSIBILITY IN YOURS (AND THOSE FRIENDS') EYES. Think about it - they have no way of arguing and being disapproving with her for what she's done because your sex-life wasn't anything they could witness for themselves.
If it wasn't going to be that old chestnut then, any of the other, myriad, blame-shifting, culpability- and guilt-avoiding excuses cheaters come out with, rather than simply admitting that everything was perfectly fine (or any little creases perfectly capable of being ironed out) as then reveals on their behalf the TRUE reason: 'I have personality and/or emotional issues'.
Stop paying good money to so-called experts who are happy (ker-ching ker-ching!) to take full financial advantage of your typical male ignorance- and insecurity-based gullibility by teaching you so-called tricks to make a happy, lasting marriage. For starters, most women don't even NEED to climax; it's MEN for whom climaxing is the be-all-and-end-all of the sex act. Those sorts of purely bonus-type tricks should be learned on-the-job.
Because you went in wallet-first, you attracted in the first place someone with issues, as creates/compounds such things as material greed, over-entitlement, over-security and abject selfishness to point of (in the context of a society of two) pure evil - a take-take-take and 'Scr*w you, I've got you safely where I want you!' merchant. You were at the time so desperate to find The One, that you tried to shoehorn her into the role. Yes, you managed to pack her in, *with* her conning agreement, but - look now: she's finally burst out with the pressure of it (i.e. couldn't keep living up to its standards). That simple. She was *not* your soulmate.
True Soulmates don't ever do anything that mentally cruel and devastating to you. FACT.
Got that as well?