Temprorary LDR. Are we broken up? Seeing him soon (maybe) plese help
So me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. I go to college and he works. I decided to go abroad for 4 months.
So my boyfriend has emotional issues. He doesn't know how to express emotions. Instead he holds in anger and discomfort and as a result becomes resentful over time. He gets consumed in anger to the point where he makes no logical sense and blames me for things that arent soley my fault. At the same time I can be very controlling and come off as slightly manipulative.
So over the first half of my trip we were fine. We would argue intensely about control issues like if either of us should drink or when we should speak etc but we would recover and be normal. Until one day we got into such a bug argument that I swore at him and he felt threatened. He took a big hit from me and we decided to "break up. My anger pushed him away and then I realized this and after a few days apologized but he was not the same. He told me that he was reconsidering our relationship.
Over time I was trying to talk to him and see what was going on but we became very emotionally distant. I thought it was unfair to break up online and abroad so i told him to wait until I got back. And when i got back we could spend the summer together and decide what we wanted at the end. He agreed but after this conversation treated me very badly. He stopped calling me cute names, ignored me, stopped calling, would pick fights over anything. Our aniversary happeend and he claimed that we ddint need to celebate because I wasnt present. Then my birthday passed by and he didnt buy me a gift or call me and gave me weak excuses.
I was very hurt and asked if he loved me. He said that he didnt want to but he did. After this I was shocked and we barely texted only say hi and bye through facebook ocassionaly. Until i HAD to message him over an issue with my sister. We got into a regular conversation and he claimed that he didnt want to be angry anymore, that he was sorry for being mean and that he wanted us to be happy regardless. So I responsed saying that he had said alot of mean things and that at this point i didt know if i could trust/belive him. A few hours later he types to me saying that he thought it was made clear that he wanted to be single. And that he wanted us to be best friends and spend the summer together doing fun things.
At that point of reading his message I became enranged with anger because he wants me around but doesnt want to commit nor put work into loving me. I ignored him and since it has been four days. But my dilema is that i am going home in 5 days and IDK what to do. He claimed many times before that he was going to be there when i arrived at my house. I am so nervous and i dont want to lose my bf but i dont think its fair that he wants to use me. What shoud I do??
Hello there! You had the same problem as my best friend here. Being in a long distance relationship is very hard. It tests your loyalty, trust, patience, and faithfulness.Once you're in a relationship, temptation comes in. Well, I'm not saying you're guy is seeing someone else when you are away.. but the question is, "what if?". You see, fragile men are hard to find nowadays.
Maybe he went beast mode this past few months because he doesn't want you to be away from him-- because it suffocates him if you're not around. Even if we don't read between his lines anymore, it is clear that he wanted space. Give him that. Maybe he was just confused. Maybe if you'll come back, so does your feelings for each other.
For now, bare in mind that it's not JUST HIM (the reason why you come home.) Let him find himself, and let yourself find you
If he comes back to you, WELL AND GOOD!
But if not..
It's not your loss. You're beautiful with a beautiful heart
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