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Failure

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Education advice I've got a big problem, my parents and relatives are expecting me to graduate this year (college) ,but I can't. I have not finished some requirements.I just can't help it but I'm very disappointed with myself right now. I don't wanna fail their expectations. I don't know how to tell them about my situation. I'm afraid they would get angry and be disappointed. What would I do now? Graduation day is fast approaching :(..

Failure

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Well, I know a lot of students who complete their degree at different times, rather than the magic month of June.

Tell your parents that you need to get more credits, and will "graduate" when that happens. Then the happy notes can go out with the announcements!

Don't let anyone shame you for completing this degree when you have completed your obligations.

(Sounds like making this "date" is more important to them than for you. Assure them that this WILL happen, just not on their time-table. They'll get over it)

Failure

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Yeah, it's just I don't have the guts to say that in front of them.

Failure

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I don't think the problem is you don't have the guts to tell your parents that you aren't gradating on time.

I think the problem is you don't tell the truth.

Why do they think you're graduating?

Who told them that?

Let me take a guess. You did.

Why did make them think you had all your "requirements," when you didn't?

Hello? We have communication blackout.

I think what you're scared of is, that you've been lying to them for four years, and now for the first time in your life you have to pay a penalty for that.

"Um, Mom, Dad, hell yeah, it's good to see you. Yeah, right. Uh, yeah, I've got something I need to tell you about. I've been lying to you for four years. Forgive me, right? Yeah, hey, see you next year."

I don't know what you should say. Maybe, "Perhaps I should start telling the truth every now and then?"

Why didn't you tell them the truth to start with?

How about, maybe the school has been mailing your parents your grades, and they don't rely on junior to tell them how you did in your subjects? What is your explanation when the school writes and tells them you failed a course or two?

The plot thickens.

Failure

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I've been doing good in school- in almost all my subjects and I've got good grades.. I've been struggling with this (thesis thingy only!!.. Yeah you're right with the communication blackout..

Failure

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I appreciate your replying. What I meant to include in my first post was that I didn't graduate from college, and you will one day. I was lucky to get into college I was such a bad student.

So here I am lamblasting you. It's not right, is it? I appreciate your tepid response.

So you did OK in your courses, you just have this thesis thingy only. OK, I better understand the problem.

I can fully understand how you got yourself into this mess. Through no fault of your own. It reminds me of some binds I've gotten myself into.

For instance, I have some physical limitations. Our host and his wife who we were visiting, wanted to go to a country music place. I knew right off I couldn't go in there, but I couldn't tell them right off. I was going to spoil their evening.

So we went and had a nice dinner first. I was dreading everything, but I couldn't say anything. After dinner I had to tell them. I cannot go in there. Sure enough, it spoiled the evening.

It was many years ago, but I still think about it to this day. It was not my fault. It was a physical limitation that I had. I felt awful.

So I've been there. Everybody is depending on you to have an enjoyable evening, and we cannot come through.

At some point you are going to have to tell them. They will not be as disappointed as you thinkg. My company was disappointed. You people will probably be understanding, because, they are your parents and relatives. You may be surprised that they handle it better than you are.


Maybe go with the parent you get along with best. Don't tell both at once. It may be your mom, who has understood your difficulties through the years. If so, maybe tell her, and have her tell your dad. As a parent, I can tell you, they are going to understand. They're going to look forward to helping you. Maybe have an he almost graduated dinner.

If the only problem was you didn't complete your thesis, and I was the parent, and my son had a problem, and all it was was that he didn't complete his thesis, yeah, I'd jump and down. With joy.

You communicated very well. It was me who had the problem. Can you help me with that?

Failure

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Thank you for the reply, it really helps.. I've got to move on and face what life brings.. All things happens for reason anyway.. Thank you for helping me not to be awful with myself. It really feels good when you have someone you can share your problems with.. Thanks- though i have not known you personally but I'm really grateful. Graduation day will be this coming June so I've need to make my move as soon as possible (though I'm little bit nervous).. thanks :D

Failure

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hey.. I'm really nervous and I really wanna cry :(

Failure

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If you want to cry, cry. It's good for you. You wouldn't hold a huge poo in and still expect to remain in tip-top health, would you? Might make you feel bolder afterwards, as well.

If not, if you're still nervous about the in-person 'confrontation' aspect of it, might it be easier to explain yourself and apologise in a letter, mentioning the fact of why you didn't dare tell them before now?

Failure

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Yeah, you've got a point.. thanks

Failure

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You're welcome, Sheen. And, like Susiedqq said, after the initial shock, your family will get over it. They were young too, once, and no doubt made their own mistakes. That's how we learn, isn't it. :-)

Let us know afterwards how it went?

Failure

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yeah- I will.. thanks..

Failure

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Anything to report yet, Sheen?

Failure

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I'm going town to my hometown tomorrow and I'm gonna tell them in person.. Wish me luck- I'm really nervous and afraid at the same time.

Failure

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Don't be. If there's one thing I've learned in all my "hmphty-hmph" years is that the reality isn't ever even half as bad as we imagined it'd be.

One thing that always helps enormously when relaying a problem to 'the bosses', however, is if you at the same time have one or more solutions or ideas to present, as in 'here's the bad news but now for the good news'. Another truism: things always happen for a reason. So for all you and your family know, come another few years (or maybe sooner) you'll all be saying what a blessing in disguise it turned out to be that you got delayed a bit or else X, Y and Z wouldn't have been able to happen.

Another truism: if you beat yourself up ('I'm such an idiot, you must hhhhhATE me!', etc.) then the other person(s) feel automatically guilty and obliged to come to your defense. Bit like this sketch (Blazing Saddles):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPBp6DOwgU

But good luck anyway! :-)

Failure

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Oh, yes - and my favourite quote:

"This thing we call failure is not the falling down but the STAYING down" (- Mary Pickford)

You're presumably intending to pick yourself up again so - where's the failure? :-)

Failure

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Thank you.. I really owe you a lot.. Thank you for everything..

yeahhh.. I can do this- ajah!! I'll give you an update later :D

Failure

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On behalf of the 'crew' up there as well as myself, you're very welcome, and - COURSE you can!, and - yes, please do!

Failure

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Hi.. I have not said it. I didn't have the chance to say it. I'm really very nervous and I can't even say a word :( sorry :(

Failure

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I thought you were going to say it in a note? Or are you saying you're too nervous to do it in *any* way, shape and form?

You obviously realise that if you don't say it, events will do it for you, meaning, you have a limited window of opportunity before they then add anger (if anger's their style, otherwise disappointment) to their initial reaction for your not having told them yourself?

Would you like me to help you draft a little letter on here? Or if you have a draft prepared already, do you want to paste it in here so I can put my parent hat on and tell you how it comes across as well as suggest any changes?

Failure

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I just keep on crying.. I know nothing will be done if I keep on doing this but I just can't help it. Sorry because I'm not that strong to face this kind of problem.. I'm emotionally unstable right now.. I can't help it but negative really pops through my mind everytime I think on trying to tell them.. All I want now is to disappear :'(:-(..

Thank you for the suggestion and sorry can't make it.. Sorry :'(

Failure

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It's really not that bad, Sheen. As a parent, you EXPECT your kids to stuff up from time to time. I mean, obviously you're going to be a bit shocked and disappointed as your first reaction, but...you do KNOW as a parent that you didn't ACTUALLY birth a little angel and to expect at least SOMETHING not going according to your hopes and dreams for them (not that this is any gate getting permanently closed situation, given that you can do re-takes). What are they going to do - tie you up, stick you in the basement and feed you bread and water for the rest of your life? Hardly!

So - go on - what's the worst that could happen if you wrote them a letter?

Alternatively, have you got a fave auntie or uncle who'd help you approach them with it?

Failure

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A good news and a bad news..

Good news is... At last.. I've done it- finaly!!I 've told my relatives and parents about my situation. I don't know how it happened but it's just like boooommm- my relatives were shocked at first but they said "it's gonna be okay- you can do it".. Soo glad to hear it from them..

On the other hand..- my parents? I have not heard some encouragements from them.. They said "so, what will you ddo now? Blah blah blah.." they don't believe that my thesis was the reason why I can't graduate this year.. It hurts because of all people, why them?. sometimes, i could think, "am I a burden to them?". I don't know how to male everything back to normal again..


But.. I'm so happy- I finally told them. Thank you for lifting me up.. I'm gonna finish my thesis this summer.. Hope everthing's gonna be back to normal again.. I learn a lot from this experience.. thank you very much.. This is the only place where I can say everthing I feel.. Thank you again.. For the guidance and encouragements- thank you..

*it's priceless :-) God bless..

Failure

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(LOL, stop throwing bouquets and making for the exit - I ain't finished! I haven't lectured and debriefed you yet, aka, done my Scooby-Doo-like summing up...)

So - Ah-hah! THERE YA GO! Bloody well done!

So it wasn't even remotely as negative you'd imagined. In fact, somewhere between neutral and positive/sympathetic? And from your parents - just lack of encouragement, compared to the rellies? You realise that's them being considerate in trying their hardest not to agitate you *too* much and make things worse (in case stress is the problem)?

What do mean, they don't believe it was the reason? What do they THINK it is? Or are you saying, they can't accept that you're not an automatically high-achiever at every point of every single stage, ergo, something non-academic must have distracted you from your studies? Well, that's a huge compliment as well, if you really think about it. It says they actually *did* think you were perfect, certainly academic prowess- and consistency-wise and can't bear to have to admit the 'fault' was yours.

However, they must have known deeper down that that was just an hopeful illusion. I suspect what's *really* at the bottom of it is the usual suspect: their seeing this as a sign you're starting to sever the last half of the parent-child umbilicus (daring to cease busting a portion of gut that was always for their sakes and benefit in with your own), and probably think it's come at just the wrong time. In actual fact, ones development doesn't follow any social schedule. Au contraire - it spits on the grave of the social schedule!

'A burden'. Don't talk daft or I'll have to reach through my monitor and give you a tweak on the ear. ;-) No, *you're* not a burden, you're a *carrier* of a burden. Diff/all the diff. What *is* a burden is when your kid commences this cord-cutting phase before you, the parent, are ready. Somebody should have told them: there *is* no "being ready", you're *never* ready to let your precious mini-me out into the scary world on his own two feet, making his own decisions (no doubt without ever stopping and asking someone for directions, like your typical male, lol). There's a hidden bonus for parents in their "baby" entering extended education - on the purely selfish level, I mean (because they are still only human), and it's that it keeps your kid, well... a KID for longer. In other words, you being at that age, anyway, and their having been braced (which isn't the same as ready) to start spotting you doing something or other that counts as a diversion from 'the family script' in favour of starting to write your own or edit in your own ideas - seeing one - possibly the first of many - is precisely what they fear is occurring. So they're panicking a bit, inside, in case it means you - rather, your mapped-out journey - could eventually go down the pan.

They're obviously very academically-minded themselves (or not remotely academic - either/or), and those types do tend, sadly, to see academic and corporate success as ones only sword and shield against all the potential horrors out there in the concrete jungle. However, 'oranges are not the only fruit'. And what with your already having a proven track record of your ability to take in, order/re-order, process, store and recall information exceptionally easily in whatever requisite format, this skill can be applied *anywhere* potentially lucrative, meaning, you'll be just fine WHATEVER you choose, whether you dare do it consciously-compliantly ("I've started so I'll finish/Don't want to disappoint them") or just - WHOOPS, how did THAT happen! - accidentally-on-purpose (subconsciously) fail unexpectedly this time round at something they'd thought were already in the bag.

So what I'm saying is this: there may not BE any making everything "back" to normal because the 'worst'-case scenario here (for them) is that you *are already* doing normal. After all, you have the TWO programmes running: your nature (inner animal) and your nurture (sociological grooming and expectations, etc.) which constantly collide and always have done, throughout human civilised history. (Christ, I sound like I'm writing my own thesis here! LOL.)

Alternatively, if you deep-down share their belief in the academic route being the best known and/or most easily attainable of them all, or are mature enough to stick to prior promises and commitments, even tacit ones, and can leave the serious self-assertion until after you've graduated, then you're going to have to pick on something else to rebel and express your re-developing individuality over. Clothing style/appearance is the typical one for your age- and stage-group (no doubt because it leaves the studying side alone)...and that many late teens/early 20s over so many decades can't all be wrong, eh! Or there's arts and crafts - the distinct opposite of academia. Ever tried anything artistic/manually constructive or tried it more lately and thought about starting a sideline route (if you surprised yourself during your attempt, I mean)?

Just some food for 'not boxed-in' thought, should this mental block persist or recur without warning any time soon. Probably not, but I was an insurance agent in a previous life as my day-job and air hostess by night ("...the emergency exits are here...here...here...and here"). ;-)

In the meantime, try the Serenity Prayer (and learn off-by-heart the more commonly known, more poignant first verse as the short version); it works whether one's religious/spiritual or not because it's just common sense de-luxe:

God [Allah, Fate, Nature, whatever] grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would like it.

Trusting that he will make all things right,
If I surrender to his [/it's] will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this world
And supremely happy in the next.

I disagree a little with the 'not as I would like it' and 'surrendering to his will' parts, for being a tad too passive and encouraging apathy because I believe that being just enough (yet neither too little) of a control freak, whereby it becomes a *good* thing, requires knowing - through innate wisdom as well as trial and error (first or second-hand, the latter being the higher skill of learning from other people's mistakes) - exactly where one can or can't exert alterable influence...which is not for mere mortals to say...unless they've tried (, tried and tried again - thrice being the perfect, scientific amount). HOWEVER, those that say it *can't* be done are usually interrupted by others doing it (- James A. Baldwin). So never take anyone else's word for what "is" or "isn't" possible to change single-handedly or contributively (indeed, you're talking to someone who achieved a centuries-old so-called impossible, despite I can't say what on here). So that line, in my opinion, should be about *acknowledging* the state of the world, rather than accepting.

Lastly but not leastly - because you're a little gent with excellent attitude and manners to match, I'm going to 'lend' you a golden Ace-card conversation I had with my own parents (topic - yep, you've guessed it: succeeding, ending up perfectly okay, "parents, BACK OFF!"), back when I myself was veering from my (fairly loose-set) script as a teen:

Me: Dad... You're perfectly fine, aren't you? Earning ample and happily married to mum, etc.?
Dad: Yes?
Me: Mum... And so are you, right?
Mum: Yes?
Me: So I'm the conglomerate and upgrade of TWO "perfectly fines", then. So, then - no matter WHAT route I take or in WHAT time or WHAT order of stops and changeovers - how on EARTH am I capable of *not* ending up 'perfectly fine de-luxe'?

(It's called a Gotcha. And it did precisely what it says it does on the tin, or so said their sudden goldfish impressions plus no more mention. ;-))

The truth is, I have too much widespread evidence to believe, you're going where you're going, whether you're destined merely by virtue of your nature and other existential elements or the will of a higher power/entity (or both in unison). You can take the footpath, the alleyway, the very scenic, convoluted route, the car, bus, taxi, the tube, roller-skates...even the hang-glider. The method-of-transport menu and departures & arrivals timetable is pretty damn extensive (which choice always gets reaffirmed by any specific choice/attempt *not* getting somehow strangely scuppered by events beyond your control). In which case - who CARES about that wholly petty detail? By hook or by crook or unconscious + higher-power pull - you'll get there, is my point. Unless you beforehand get run over by a big, fat truck, of course.

And that, in fact, is the only event your parents should fear, not how and in what order you choose to build your multi-faceted life upon that inherited come bestowed foundation.

You've got to feel for your parents, though. They'll be wanting you 'established and fully-functioning' *before* they pop their clogs, see. *Well* before. That way they'll be able to relax properly without worrying about you (still concerned and interested, yes, worried, no) as they enter their Autumn Years. But that's where the above-regurgitated, levelling 'confrontation' comes in. Unless they're homeless pill-popping junkie winos and, note, always have been, you'll be absolutely fine.

How do I know? Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. You had a problem, couldn't quite solve it single-handedly, so did the intelligently resourceful thing of coming to this little hamlet to ask its village elders, having had the *social* intelligence to smoke um peace pipe as you did so. You then TOOK the advice - albeit with your own stamp and snap-opportunistic timing on it (tick!) - and - voila: mind freed of its momentary calipers! If that doesn't prove you're a survivor-winner in the face of typical adversity and hurdles then I don't know WHAT does. And indeed it aligns with Mendel and Dawkins's attitude, which is that the intelligent gene-vehicle proves itself such through exhibiting the wherewithal to make use of whichever tools his environment/life has laid on, both overtly and less obviously. Not only that, you added your own internal tool - called courage (it's not bravery by whatever degree unless whatever it is you rise to meet/confront scares you).

(Y)

Weeeell,... *I'm* impressed, given your youth, so - with them it's just a matter of time.

But, meantime, they'll be wearing worry goggles, which are somewhat blurring, so won't have thought to notice that part. Because it's not really ABOUT you...well, not wholly. It'll probably equally be about them doubting their *own* capabilities - as parents. Academia they *are* confident about. But raising a kid to become a happy and worthwhile adult is another kettle of fish entirely, is it not. You - once you finish uni on-time /quit uni yet / stay a little longer at uni yet, irrespective, ensconce yourself firmly onto the rung of whatever type of ladder, i.e. become the near-as-damnit established article - represent their 'final exam' result-on-legs at the University of Life. Geddit? You're not the only student in your family.

So you - YES, YOU - need to start to parent *them* in a way from now on. By reassuring them. With your hopefully new-found, laid-back, self-confident, philosophical yet determined attitude. If you can find a way to do that then - YOU'RE IN (Capable Adult club), and they'll gain the greater confidence they need to start to increasingly, bit-by-bit, let go of your reins (the psychological ones, the typically last to go).

Bit deep for a Wednesdee evenin'? There again - so is life. :-)

PS: What's your thesis on?

Failure

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(typo - Wednesdee mornin'.)

Failure

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I still feel terrible.. My parents have not contacted me yet. We haven't talk about my situation seriously because I need to be back at school immediately for my summer class. When I was at home they barely talked to me, and when they do they always change the topic. And now that I'm at school they are not calling me which is very unusual. (Our school is far from home so I need to stay in my relatives home and it really sucks!!!)


Plus, my thesis adviser told me yesterday that I need to change my thesis topic.:( I am really exhausted and drained right now. Emotionally dead..


Sorry for the late reply..


Anyways, I'm a taking up BS Marine Biology.

Failure

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Give them (and yourself) time. Obviously they'll be disappointed. But you have to let their emotion have time to slowly but (happily) exponentially dissolve as they adapt to the new programme. It will. That's all this is - acclimatisation.

In the meantime, try not to feel bad about feeling bad or you'll DOUBLE how bad you feel. (Simple logic yet totally overlookable.)

Also, it's probably a very good thing that your TA is giving you the opportunity to switch topics. Had the first truly grabbed you, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You do need to find your subject fascinating. Like any publisher will advise its writers: write what you know and feel passionate about.

As for the exhaustion and drainedness: sleep. Sleepsleepsleepsleepsleep...Mother Nature's own, best medicine. The more chances to dream (which is your psyche getting a grip on everything), the better. And lots of fresh air and exercise so that you're so physically knackered your mind couldn't keep you awake if it tried!

What are your options, topic-wise?

Failure

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I've been sleeping a lot lately :) and reading novels to unwind, but at the end of the day' the feeling's comin' back like it just happened yesterday. Maybe I really need patience, gonna take time (yes!), but they are still my parents right? Always looking forward to the day where everything is normal like it was before..


Regarding my changing of thesis topic, I really don't know where and how to start it all. Tsk!! I really feel sleepy whenever I'm reading articles..


I'm really interested in phytoplankton but it's too time consuming and I don't have that much time. I'm still searching and reading other topics. I need to move fast!! tsk! tsk! I'm not motivated, what will I do?

Failure

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Cor, somebody did a very good job on you regarding being a sucker for guilt, didn't they?

You need patience *and* to remind yourself that THIS IS *YOUR* LIFE, NOT THEIRS, and that parents have the right only to teach and fore-warn before sitting back, letting you make your own attempts, INCLUDING FAILURES, and merely being ready to tend to your wounds *if* you should fall. You'd learn DIDDLY-SQUAT if your life went nothing but smoothly and cushily all the time. You'd end up a mid-life crisis-er by the time you hit your late 30s. MUCH better to get your bigger boo-boos over and done with while you're young and still have a plethora of alternative options, trust me on that.

Could you choose one specific topic WITHIN the general topic of phytoplankton, such as their reproductivity? Perhaps comparing it to that of terrestrial plants on the same or similar scale? Or (concerning diatoms, specifically) how the melting icecaps have affected them in whichever way(s) through having affected the climate patterns/ecosystems and resultant currents (or whether these things have)? Or even perhaps about what happens, toxicity-wise, to all the fish and fowl that feed on them, when they get to grow out of control and start to feature HABs?

If you really can't get motivated then there's nothing you CAN do. Well, there is ONE thing: break the task down into tiny Baby Steps and vow each day to tackle just that one little step. Usually, when someone can't get themselves going over a task it indeed is because they're viewing the entire 'mountain' overall or imagining necessarily huge steps ahead...which it sounds like you're doing....as then overwhelms and paralyses them.

Another tip would be to tape yourself reading your study material so that there's no more reading after that one occasion, just listening - particularly effective if you play the recording one last time as you fall asleep each night (i.e. let your inner animal do the revising for you - effing effective that one, used to use it myself).

Or you could cease thinking about it and just get on with it for a set period every day, like an emotional jail self-sentance? Put it this way, even if you've started unwittingly going off the whole idea of your previously chosen path and end up going in a completely different direction afterwards, it's still a qualification as communicates to any future employer an ability to apply yourself (self-discipline) and possessing excellent recall ability. You could additionally set yourself a reward for at the end of each and every study session.

Anything there that appeals?

Failure

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Fear is an inhibitor of freedom

Without freedom...we can behave.... irratically and without focus. We are not ourselves, or our true potential.

Perspective. You are healthy. You don't have any of the problems that life offers... and life offers A LOT of horrible problems.

Im not trying to minimize your situation... and say that you are not valid in feeling how you feel.

Im saying that you have to deal with it, so that you can free yourself.

This is just a school situation, but this is a pattern that is deeper than just your graduation situation.

Its a fear.... that lives inside you... that could cause bigger problems in your life.

Be honest and tell your family confidently, that you are sorry, and disappointed in yourself, but you had trouble with some classes and need to take another term. After you do this... i want you to focus on the experience.... that it is okay. that its not a big problem. that you didn't disappoint them. And even if you did... that is their problem. They are lacking in perspective of real problems in the world.

You need to believe for yourself... that IT IS OKAY. That you are human. THAT THIS IS NOT A BIG PROBLEM.

Because in life you are going to have real problems... and most certainly if you live with this fear, because you will not be focused enough to avoid them.

Failure

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I'm writing my thesis

Its a collection of information that I will be using the rest of my life.

It should be something that is important to you. Something you want to solve. Something that your words together work as a solution.

Imagine.... we have this one life to live..... what is it that you want to look back at as having been a great purpose to you and your life?

What knowledge, what expertise to do you want to reflect.... from your experience on this earth?

Your report about earth. We all have our different interests....where does your passion live in terms of biology?

Failure

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The relationship with your family is hurting you... its what is making you cry.

They work so hard...and don't forget to remind us... of how hard they work for us to make us happy... that we are under so much pressure to do the same....make them happy.

So do it. Make them happy.

Make them happy in all the other ways that you normally do that.

Your worrying... has made you distant as well. You are all doing the same thing. All worrying. All aware of the distance. All sad.

So.... when you decide what your thesis is going to be... plan a weekend at home... where you are going to work away in your room... and your mom can baby you. Work on your outline and tell her that you need to be home and taken care of... just to get it done. Something like that.

Your family will be happy to have you at home. They will see you healthy and focused on your work. AND you get home cooked meals and your room.

But... if they are abusive.... just stay focused on your life and your future... and how you will be a parent one day with a family that you have open love and communication with....or else you could spend your entire life trying to prove something that will never be accepted. You will just continuously be under their control.

Failure

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I've been trying to gain what I have lost the past few months. I'm trying to stand from my downfall and reaching out for the people who believes in me (that I've been trying to push away). YES! I'm too young to worry about it- I still have the chance to make it all right, right? I can make it! I can- I just need to believe. For now, I really need time for myself. I think all that I dream of gonna happen in the right tine and right place. All of the things that had happen to me lately may be consequences of my actions but I'm thankful- why? Because I learn! Lots of regrets? Yes! but, I'm not gonna stuck to the thought that I'm a disappointment. I've been trying to cover up all my mistakes through lies but at the end of the day it all sucks! It make things much more complicated.

When I think of people who have bigger problems than mine, I felt so lucky. I know things gonna be okay in its own way. Patience is what I need hold now.

Thank you all for the inspiring words you have shared. It's gonna be now or never :)

Failure

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To believe in yourself... you must see yourself....to know what you're believing in.

Make a poster and put your name or photo or mini mirror in the middle of it.

Surround it with words and phrases that describe you...and how you want to be.

The more you look at it.... the more you will be it.... so fill it up, develop it.... review it as often as possible.

Before you know it....your confidence will be where it should be.

It is worth your while...be creative...have fun. Love you.

Failure

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Not a bad idea eehhh?? I think I would be doing that soon. Some sort of encouragement :) I know a lot of things is waiting ahead of me so I gotta be strong enough to get there. I've been sooo pessimistic lately so I need something to get back the positive me. I'm smiling now :) AYYY Know I can do this 'coz I need to- my family is expecting a lot from me..



Thank you :) <3

Failure

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Im glad that you like the idea.. it will make a difference.

:)

Another idea.... is to focus on the idea of 'I DID IT' and 'I did it for me'.

This means... do something each day that makes you say to yourself...."I DID IT"

For myself... it started off with a lot of physical activities... jogging and biking long distances. Something that I hadn't really done before that made me feel GREAT each time i did it!!

There are all kinds of other ways to say I DID IT, learning a few phrases in a different language....creating artwork....writing a song....writing letters to congress.... gardening....weight lifting...skip for 10 minutes... a dance routine....learn an instrument....volunteer....write a story... draw a picture.... there are thousands of things you could do. Give it some thought. Make a list of every day things, challenges that you could do.... that will give you that feeling. I DID IT!!!

The power of I DID IT... is the power of accomplishment... self esteem builder... control over our own life... pride in ourselves....

It builds that feeling that we should all feel.... I ROCK!!!

What anyone else thinks of you... has less impact.

Failure

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Yeah, you are right when you said "What anyone else thinks of you... has less impact.", they had nothing to do with your life anyway, you yourself alone know yourself more than anybody else. That's what I've been doing my whole life, thinking of what the other people might think about me and it's miserable pal. Now, I tried to let things go- and just go with the flow. Maybe I should try about the "I DID IT" project asap :). I need to start working on my self-discipline again. I lost track when I've been down last month.

Thank you for the ideas :)

Failure

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Your very welcome Sheen.

My point is that none of us know ourselves as well as we could if we actually put ourselves in front of ourselves.

This is why I encourage activities and art projects.



I sincerely hope you design your poster, developing it and reviewing it every day.. and play "I DID IT"every day!!!!

It's worth it.....it's building your relationship with your self.....and it's so much fun.

Failure

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Yes, I will. Thank you again :) and I will be doing some activities that would make me know myself more. I just wanna be out of my comfort and do things I've never done before.

I'll update my improvement soon, hope you can read it.

Have a nice day :)

Failure

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I will look forward to it :)

Let me know if you need any more insight.

Be creative and have fun!!

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