Hi all. I'm 29 years old and suffer from anxiety and have a history of depression. I moved to a new town about 18 months ago and am still finding my way. I don't really trust other females as I've been bitten a few times, however I feel very lonely.
I recently made a new female friend and she is great. We have a lot in common. The thing is, I feel strange about the friendship. It's hard to explain but it feels like we're dating and I'm desperate to keep her as a friend. I know she likes me a lot and we can talk about anything but I just feel like I want to impress her somehow, not by exaggerating or lying but by having an alcoholic drink so I'm less anxious and am brave enough to to meet up with her.
I realise as I write this that it does sound fairly ridiculous but suffering from anxiety I always feel like an idiot when talking to new people and am constantly wondering if they think I'm an idiot.
I don't want to feel like this, I want the friendship to progress normally and not feel any pressure. Any advice?
"by having an alcoholic drink so I'm less anxious and am brave enough . . ."
Is this something you feel you have to do, oftentimes? Even when it doesn't involve this girl?
That's a mis-use of alcohol. And if you suffer from depression, you need to know that alcohol is a depressant.
PS It seems she likes you just the way you are. Why mess that up?
Thanks for replying.
No I don't use alcohol as a crutch in that way often but don't a lot of people use a bit of alcohol every now and then for dutch courage for some reason or another? Not all the time just when they're feeling a bit nervous.
She does like me but I'm not used to friendships sticking so I'm of course wary
Your name says it all - you have made a monster out of all that figeting. worry, anxiety, low self esteem, over-thinking)
Try to relax. She seems to like you and that's a great place to start.
How do you de-stress, normally?