Wife and i split up but i dont want a divorce
hi there im trying to get advice it has been a month and a half since me and my wife split up, i have tried for this whole time everything to get her to come back but she just rejects me constantly. this all started about two years ago she caught me texting another girl nothing ever happened between us she would just text me to see how my day was going but other than that that was it.
i admit i made a mistake talking to her and i promised i would never do it again.. three months later i caught her doing the same thing it hurt but i couldnt say anything since i had done the same we let it go and moved forward. around october last month i noticed she was receiving alot of private calls around the same time everyday when she was at work i confronted her and asked her who it was she said it was her co worker (a girl)
well i didnt say anything and she kept getting them so i confronted her again and told her it wasent her friend to be honest with me and after a few minutes of silence she came out and told me it was another guy i felt horrible it was like a kick to the face because i had really been trying my best to show her i loved her.
fast forward to about two months ago she starting acting really shady with me she didnt show me love and was vey distant then one weekend we argued about a minor problem and i told her she had to change her ways she told me she was leaving because she was confused and needed space.. she left the house with our two kids and now shes not willing to work on us or even give us a try to work things out.. its been a month and a half and she says she doesnt love me and wants a divorce allready i love my wife but she just isnt willing to try for a unknown reason.
Do you think she is still talking to that guy and that may be why she is adamant about divorce? I find it harmless with your friend texting you to see how you are doing and nothing was going on but alot of spouses get jealous of that. You should explain how you feel to her. Explain how much you love her and know that what ever the case may be it can be reconciled if she gives it the chance.
Honestly i dont kno if shes still talking to him i have asked her multiple times if she is talking to anyone else but she just says no and says im crazy and im always making up things.. yea she is a little jealous but i have been showing her i love her and telling her i love her ever since my mistake i have done everything i can to show her i want to be with her but shes just so negative and she swears i had sex with the girl i even told her we can go talk to her so she can ask her but she doesnt want to go.
I ask her to give it a try that we can work it out for us and the kids but she just isnt willing to put her part in it she says shes done and that she doesnt care about me anymore and doesnt care what anyone thinks. Her parents and her siblings are on my side they tell her shes making a big mistake but she doesnt care. I dont know what to do anymore im about ready to give up.
"Iiiii'm eve..ry wo..maan, it's all ii-iin meeeeeee...".
It's NOT appropriate to be texting with a single, available female when you're married, full-stop. And, regardless of how other people see it - you know it. Why would you, anyway, unless you weren't sufficiently satisfied with your relationship with her? Sure, the texting might well have 'been it'. But if this 'girl'(??) were pursuing you, a married man, no matter how subtly and cautiously (you ain't stupid), then why didn't you put a stop to it immediately out of a recognition of its high inappropriateness?
Convinced (how come?) that there had to be more to it than just texting, and (or 'because of') not having received enough reassurances and attempts to make it up to her back at the time, thus feeling like the relationship was too shaky to provide enough security and, more to the point, longevity - or it having been a case of too little, too late - she's ever since been keeping one foot on the 'marital' lilypad whilst organising another to leap seamlessly to without having to spend time swimming around, alone, in the cold water. (Was that what was in the farthest recesses of your mind, back when you were having your text-based liaison?).
Now she's made the leap and, after having attempted to buy time with the classic ol' chestnut called, I need space/time to think, is happy about now letting your pad drift away for-good....although, what with all your pleading and begging, she probably feels confident in her suspicion that you'll remain 'returnable to' for quite a while, still, so feels she can *afford* to proceed as if the marriage is o-v-e-r without worrying that the gate will get slammed shut and locked any time soon.
Your relationship with her wasn't doing it for you, hence the characteristic symptom(s) you exhibited *and* allowed her to- whoops! - come across. So the fact it's ending is probably a good thing in the long run, were it not for the fact of your male pride not wanting another man to compete and 'win'. After all, this has been dragging on for two-TWO WHOLE YEARS (featuring her, likewise, allowing you to- whoops! - come across her evidence) and yet - only now are you 'here' on this forum, asking what you can do about it. See what I'm saying?