I want to keep this short as possible because most people don't like reading and I need people to help me
Me and my ex gf broke up 1 year ago from what was a 3 year long relationship. She broke up with me for going to a party with my friends instead of hanging out with her even though I was always faithful. Throughout the next 8 months she kept begging for me back and I would always deny her. The reason I use to deny is because I didn't know what I wanted I always loved her but I didn't know if we were right for each other. Regardless of me denying her we use to talk and hangout as if we were exclusive all this for 8 months.
One day I decided to tell her that I needed space to think and just figure out exactly what is that I wanted in life. So we went on 4 months without a word to each other. One month ago I realized that she was the love of my life I realized there is no girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. When I say these strong statements I truly feel it from the bottom of my heart.
Long story short I decided to text her I came to find out she has been talking to a guy exclusively for 2 months. I pleaded my "case" to her in person told her exactly how I felt, she came to tell me the timing wasn't right but that she truly believes we will end up together. Those words brought tears in both our eyes but most of all it gives me hope that one day we will end up together. I also asked her if she's ever single will she go straight to me and she said yes.
Time goes by and she comes to find out this guy has been playing her talking to other girls doing stuff with them. At this point she is "done with him" but ends up trying to work things out with him. She even told me the guy is an asshole to her. She has tons of problems with him it seems like there are constant problems with this guy mindful that their not even dating officially. She seems to really like this guy regardless of what he does. It tears me to pieces to know she is willing to give up a 3 year relationship for 2 months with some guy who doesn't value her.
My dilemma here is I really love her but I'm clearly her second option. I don't know whether to pursue her or just move on. I tried talking to other girls but I just get so sad at the fact that I'm talking to someone who is not the one I love. Before you tell me to move on just for the fact that she doesn't want me at this moment, I really truly believe she is the one the amount of love she use to have for me was crazy and the amount of love I have for her now is greater than some husbands have for their wife's of many years. We use to click so well the only reasons things did not workout was because of myself but I changed and truly matured. So I always end up ignoring texts and calls from girls. I really love this girl Id do anything to have another chance with her. To be honest it doesn't even bother me that I'm basically her second option because I know for fact I'm better than her current guy. Its also very clear that things are most likely not going to workout with her new guy as they already have problems and are not even dating but at the same time she has many problems with him and doesn't leave him who clearly barely shows he's serious about her and she knows she could have me who loves her and still stays with him regardless makes me feel she is really attached to him and makes me feel she'll never leave him. Yesterday I sent her a text after she didn't reply to a regular convo we were having saying " I wonder if you ever think of me... I hate that I think of you all day, Am I weird for loving you this much ?" she replied with "are you ever going to accept that I moved on ? I do not understand your logic honestly you did this to yourself this is what you wanted at one point and now that you're not content it's a problem. like Idk what to say but anything you say to me doesn't really matter anymore I've moved on. Listen to this song I dedicate it to you listen to all of it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_0E5Tm5KhU
" So she dedicated me this song and its in Spanish so those of you who don't speak Spanish the gist of the song basically says that she will never forget and hasent forgot me, that I still make her nervous as in she still has feelings for me but that doesn't mean she wants me. The song goes on to say that she loved me so much but at the point where i didnt want her anymore she didn't know who i was anymore. The song goes on to say she still doesnt know why she lost me. the song ends with saying that she will be fine regardless if i didn't value her is what the gist of the song is. This song made me cry my eyes out last night and I did not get any sleep. I replied to her text and she still has not replied to me and I doubt she'll talk to me anytime soon.
So I'm here to basically ask if you guys think I have a chance to be with her someday I don't care how long I'd have to wait because I'm willing to do it. I just want to know if waiting would be the right decision and it would be if I end up with her but it be all bad if I don't end up with her. I really need help, If my chances with her seem bleak someone tell me because I'm too in love to tell if I'm fucked or I just need to work on my self and wait for her to comeback one day please help me.
One year has passed, and this girl has made her decision and yet, you hang on to the past.
Do you want to languish there during these important years?
Listen to what she is saying to you. "I've moved on."
The next thing is that she is going to block your calls and any kind of contact with you, because you are pestering her, even bordering on stalking.
I think you miss those intense feelings of being in love, head over heels, goofy, passionate love.
Have you closed the door to the possibility? What to you have to do to capture those feelings again - with someone else/
May I ask your age?
one year has passed of our end of relationship but we spent 8 months pretty much together and exclusive just without a title. no i dont want to languish but if it means of the possibility of getting her back one day Id do it . yeah she moved on there is no denying that I truly accepted it but it doesn't mean we cant be together one day. She also said she thinks we will end up together and also dedicated me a song that says basically she hasent forgotten me.
yeah I do miss those intense feelings but for her I wouldnt want those feelings for someone else.
closed the door to what possibility ?
i dont want to capture those feelings with someone else. I just want to figure out a way of getting her back.