Problem, help me
I was engaged to a woman we were together for 3 years i Broke up with her a week ago .
she argue lot lot and doubt all time even i proved my love and everything by actions not just words we were always together all time like already married, but always argue even about small things until i started using anti stress but same her all time. Last few weeks i was sick and stressed and have guests so seriously busy . she Want me to be romantic 24/7 if i dont for one day then im unloving uncaring bad man she called me that. Last week she was arguing then i sent her a link about something to help her with her work so she said she expert and dont need my help AND said she was acting stupid with me all time so that made me so angry she broke my trust and made me wonder that she was mocking me for whole 3 years and made me fall in love for nothing. Any advice please. Thank you very much
well - it looks as if - yes - indeed - you were with a woman who was "playing you" - was she consciously playing you ? well : yes and no
those people have an - impossible to satisfy - need to be validated - constantly : hence you having to play the romantic 24/7 - they are never content : they do not know how it is to be satisfied and happy
trust is a fundamental issue : she has been using up your goodwill to give more and be more and prove your love more and more until not a drop was left - you being literally "burned out" - these are her issues she projected on you
but then she turned the whole thing on you and said that the whole thing was a game and that she was "playing stupid" - to make you feel abused (which you were) - and now your trust is broken
from there - it can not get any better : with her trust issues from the start and now yours - it will be an escalating situation from bad to worse - she has never been able to trust your love and that is not going to change now : she needs psychological help/counseling
the arguing also is proof of not being able to be at peace in the relation - as well as setting you on egg-shells : being always on edge and as a result stressed out
she said she needs nobody's help - that she's an expert : that's quite a proof of her being a little narcissistic - not ?
I would suggest you do not get back into the relation : if indeed she is a narcissistic person - abuse will happen again and intensify - not all narcissists are sociopaths but all sociopaths are narcissists : the difference is that a narcissist doesn't care (it's in their nature) but a sociopath doesn't care to not care (they will do it often times willfully and on purpose - to manipulate, abuse and hurt - to downsize another) and a psychopath doesn't care to not care and likes it (they will intentionally and purposefully do it to damage) - they all want total control over the situation and the other and they are all deeply hurtful (and most feel no need to change)
I do not think it might be of any use to go back and talk it out because then you might be drawn in again for another round : you have to make closure for yourself - on your own - the best way to do that is make it very clear for yourself what you now want and what no longer - this will raise your self-respect and give you perspective as well as goals on how you want to go about living your life from here on
if this description rings even a small tiny a bell with you - then all the more : listen to your guts and don't go back : you don't want to spend your life on anti-depressants now do you ?
don't feel you've been stupid to fall in love : you were manipulated and used - it happens to a lot of people - you gave it your all and for that you must praise yourself and the quality of your love - know that you are capable of such genuine beautiful love : and now take back that love and go and give it to someone who deserves it - who is worthy of you (and you are the first on the list)
allez Dennis : la vie est devant toi