I had an affair, need advice on moving on
Il try and make this as short as possible.
I had an affair but now its over. My husband knows everything and we have decided to seperate (for now) to work on ourselves in order to save our marriage as that is what we both want. Also we have 3 children together.
We have just started counselling and its really helping BUT the one problem I have is that the "other man" is a father at my childs school and I have to face him often.
This is hard and when I see him it brings everything back. Its stopping me from being able to move on and work on my marriage.
I am looking for advice on what I should do/how I should handle this.
Any chance you can change schools?
Thank you for your response
Yes i suppose I know ultimately that's what needs to be done but it's so hard as my daughter is so happy at school and I am making friends with other mums (something I struggle with).
Come on, Mom -
Really? you can't avoid running into someone during the course of the day?
You know what you MUST do to get over this: pick up daughter at different time; arrange for someone else to do this; change schools next year; etc. etc.
Ask yourself if you are REALLY avoiding him - or still desire a visual reminder of those feelings you had in the affair.
(Hey - Years ago, I actually parked on a road outside of a former lover's workplace in hopes of seeing him drive by on his way home. I finally realized how sick that was making me)
Oh gosh!! No affair ended 15 weeks ago and avoiding him has been easy as he told me he would no longer be at the school - his wife would now do drop off/pick up.
But the last week he has suddenly made a come back and it's just unexpected I suppose. I havent seen him for ages then suddenly he's there. It does bring it all back which I'm finding hard.
I think i will start looking at a different school for my daughter.
It's just so sad because she's so happy.
"It does bring it all back which I'm finding hard."
What is the "it" that finds you now find it difficult to move and and work on your marriage?
Agree with SUSIEDQQ: You must make every effort to change your schedule to avoid him.
When did he tell you his wife would be picking up their child? Does his wife know about the affair?
If you're serious about getting your family and marriage back then it's up too YOU!! How much more does your children have to sacrifice because of your mistake. Having a part time father should have been enough, now your daughter has to leave her school.
Discuss your "It issue" in counseling, for you this is not over- Hasn't your family suffered enough?