Is there no chance, are we done?
Almost married 21 years, the last 8 years my husband seems as though I don't matter. He be Littles everything I say or do.
We used to talk and express our feelings, now he doesn't want to talk. He used to hold me, cuddle, and put me first.
Now he tells me when I ask him to come lay with me he is busy and when he is free he will. This causes me so much pain and leads to fighting.
He then goes on to say how much he loves me and couldn't live without me, but his actions say something different. The only time we connect is in bed, but is that enough to keep our marriage together.
I feel worthless and that I am nothing but an inconvenience for him. I am so hurt, confused , scared, and empty. I really need some advice .
HI- I think he feels that he no longer has to make any effort considering you or your feelings .
You say "I feel worthless and that I am nothing but an inconvenience for him" He's made it clear how he really feels about you.
He then tells your " I love you so much I Couldn't live without you (how old is this line?).
You need to have a come to Jesus meeting with him.1) First get your bone back in place 2)Tell him you are no longer happy in this marriage and haven't for a long time. Be SPECIFIC, tell him 3) he makes you feel worthless by treating you as if your an inconvenience to him.4) Your self esteem has been effect by his constant belittling. 5)You feel he takes you for granted 6)You feel you are no longer a priority in his life. If he responds back with the old faithful denial, remind him that his words don't match his actions.
Time as they say to put on your Big GIRL PANTIES ON (an keep them on).My mother use to say "Closed Mouths Don't get Fed" meaning speak up for yourself,don't ask to be respected DEMAND IT. You must "check him" immediately when you feel him falling back in his old demeaning behavior"
Start to focus on you, get out of the house, lunch with friends, get a make over, new hair cut etc .People do want they want to do, so don't pursue him. Don't be so accommodating when it comes to sex (I see a few headaches in your feature).
If there is no real change what are you willing to do?