My husband is so mean
I have been married for 13 years now, I have 3 childres. I have always had problems with my husband because of his bad temper, moodiness and usually nastiness. I stayed with him because he used to be caring, loving, genereous( when we are not fighting) and very attached to his kids. lately, he is so emotionally cold,for any simple reason, he loses his mind, starts insulting me and my family in front of the children, This is killing me. now he left the room very angry that he shouted in front of the kids to the point that they started avoiding/ignoring him. he said it is all because of me. I talked to him in sooo differnt ways.. no change.. I would say it is getting worse. He refuses divorce totally. He is soo jealous that I can be with another man.. I am jobless at the moment. I am lonely, sad and lost. Any advice please
After 13 years of marriage you say you've always had problems with your husband because of his bad temper, moodiness and unusually nastiness. But you've stayed because he "used to be caring, loving, generous which apparently is no longer the case. I think 13 years is long enough to expose your children of verbal abuse from their father to mother. You married a mean,nasty cruel Ass Hole. That nice guy was his Representative to seal the deal.
If not for you, you owe your children a non-treating abusive environment (period). "He refuses divorce totally" He can refuse all he wants, that's why we have Courts. You need to really proceed with caution. Suggest he gets counseling for his anger issues. You need to seek legal advice regarding a separation or divorce without his knowledge.
He seems unbalanced to me, so I would tread carefully. Don't remain in this relationship because you have no job-courts will award child support and possible spousal support. Your main concern is the safety and well fare of your children. How serious are you about getting out of this marriage?
This is a tough situation and it can be dangerous.
Emotional and verbal abuse is what you are going through and it can lead to other things such as infidelity or worst. As a Christian, I don't believe in divorce unless it is for infidelity or abuse. You are in the abuse category. Like him, it does not seem like you want divorce either. With that being said, I think you should give the marriage one more chance. What I mean by that is to approach him and ask what is wrong. I'm constantly upset with my wife because she does not talk .Women think men don;t need to talk for we hold a lot of stuff in. Give him a chance to speak. Make a time and date for him to do so and give him a heads up so you don't surprise him. Let him finish speaking and try not to make him upset. He allows anger to cloud his judgment and that is not a good thing right now. Fight for you marriage until you've reached the point you can't fight anymore.