What should I do next?
I desperately need some advice. I found out last week that my husband of 23 years has been cheating again for the second time. The first time was with a crack whore/con artist. He stole thousands from me to support her. I found out about the relationship when he was ending it with her. I took him back (big mistake) but I did so because he was very remorseful and said he would never do it again - plus I found out I was pregnant with our second child. We have been back together for 8 years. Then about 3 months ago I noticed the usual signs - hiding cell phone, missing time, etc. I demanded that he tell me what was going on. He told me this story that he was remembering sexual abuse that he suffered as a child by his step father and that he has started drinking again because of it. (His family is nuts and I can see where there would be abuse involved.) I told him that he needed to get help and made appointment for him to see a therapist. He was disappearing for hours at a time. He worked 2nd shift so he would not get out until 10:30 at night but would not show up until 3 in the morning. Or say that he was working on some down machines and was still at work. Long story short I got enough proof that he was lying about where he was and confronted him. He said that I was pushing him away and left (but still came back while I was at work to leave his dirty clothes and raid my frig.) Also someone cleaned out his back account during this time. (Multiple withdraws were made while his was at work. I found out late he gave his card to his girlfriend.)
He came back after 5 days at 3 in the morning and said that he got thrown out of his friends apartment that he was staying at. Well he didn't get thrown out. His girlfriend dumped him for someone else. No doubt because he didn't have any money to give her. Now she says she is pregnant.
Now my husband says that this was something that happened when he was drunk and was poor choices. But I found out that he was planning to leave me and our two kids for this whore that has already lost one child due to her drug use. He was going to go get a trailer and help he get her son back.
Now I am left with what I should do next. I want to divorce the pos as soon as possible but I need advice on what to do next. He said that he will sign anything that I want him to sign. My job was sent overseas and my current job will not pay all the bills. He said that he would pay the mortgage of $1000. I went to an attorney that suggested that I have him agree to pay the $1000 in child support. 1. because if the whore's kid is his then my kids will be the primary support payment if I file first and she will be left out getting what is left over(if she files a claim for child support first she would be considered primary). 2. I would have to pay taxes on spousal support and I really need every cent that I can get to support my two kids.
Also my husband has ruined his credit and was in the process of ruining mine. He ran up over $18000.00 on my credit cards. Even with the 0% financing that I was able to get the payments are still $400.00 a month. If I have to provide for my two kids by myself I really do not see how I can pay that. Should I consider filing for bankruptcy? I hate to even consider it but I really am scared on how I am going to juggle everything. My kids are 7 and 12 years old and I have no one to watch them. I have no family to help me. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
First I commend you for standing your ground and deciding for divorce, good idea! He made his bed now let him lay in it, don't worry about him worry about your children. File for child support asap and if he wants to stay in the children's lives great if not it doesn't seem as though they will miss out to much. Good luck and hope you continue to gain strength and realize you don't meet that loser. Let him regret losing his family and great wife and do not let him manipulate you in to feeling sorry him. Again best of luck
Let your lawyer guide you at this time. You need to take quick action to protect your finances AND your children. The court will decide who pays what. If you can prove that HE made those CC purchases, then that would help.
Your husband sounds like he is on drugs, too. Act fast.