Hi all. My wife and I split in Dec 15 and she says I'd done nothing wrong but she just fell out of love with me.I left the marital home as this was the second time she had ended things. Her actions led me to believe her depression had come back, so I had learnt my lessons and tried to be there for her but from a distance, despite her saying it was over. I recently found out she is seeing someone else, but doesn't know if it's going anywhere, do I wait in hope she falls back in love with me, or do I just give up. I worship the ground she walks on, and she says she wants us to be good friends.what do I do ?
It takes so much time and energy to have an affair, I doubt she's depressed.
You are going to have to find a way to get her to fall in love with you again.
So - woo her! Take her out, wine and dine. Flowers, etc. etc.
That's probably what the other guy did. So get on it!
If she is seeing someone else and keeps breaking it off, I say move on. She obviously does not respect you, if you don't have kids together I wouldn't say it is worth saving. You are someone who deserves to be loved and treated well. Don't go chasing after someone who treats you like crap. I am married and I understand it's not something you want to give up on, but infedelity and someone telling you they don't want to be with you? Yeah try to move on
We have 3 small children, and the whole family thing means a great deal to me, like she says she does love me, just not in love, and we can't be together as its not fair on any of us this keep happening. She says I should be with someone who deserves me, and who will love me like I should be loved. Before I found out about the other guy, she was coming to my place and going to sleep in my bed, on my pillow, asking me to massage her shoulders and neck, and looking for kittens. All of the above made me think she wanted me again. She wasn't going to tell me about the other guy until she knew it was going anywhere, which she still doesn't know,but was forced to because someone told me.
Why is it that she knows what you deserve and you don't? she says "I should be with someone who deserves me and who will love me like I should be loved?
Stop being manipulated by her, she knows that you are weak and not strong enough to protect your dignity or manhood. Set new boundaries, stop being her fall back, get out and start meeting people. Take her advice you do deserve better. -
When kids are involved it is so hard... I would recommend what skinny girl did. It seems your wife needs help and is not very mature, at least in relationship terms. To be going back and forth like that with kids involved, she isn't really thinking of them or you. Even though it is hard to admit when a relationship is done, she has said this, even if she is t following through. Since she is seeing someone else, i would say set firm boundaries, she cannot come hang out at your place etc. except for kids birthday parties etc. it will just keep you from making any progress and also keep her from possibly missing you, realizing what she has done. Not that this will happen or even if it does that you should take her back. It would not be setting a healthy example to your kids. Would you want your son or daughter treated like this? Do not let her come over, set firm boundaries and rules as to when you have kids, she drops them off, etc. Do not wait for someone who is messing around on you. It will not stop, as soon as things aren't exactly like they want they will do it again. If you are still wanting a marriage tell her to end the other relationship and that you guys need to see a couples counselor. If she says no, well you can't fix a marriage if it's only one person trying to fix it and wanting too.