I need some advice about my boyfriend. The problem I am having is he is completely terrified of judgment to the point he is not willing to listen to my fears, concerns or comments. Everything I say is interpreted wrong, or at least that is what it feels like!
I know I can be somewhat of a angry person myself, but I am trying very hard to be calm for him and it has gotten to a point where I feel like I am changing for the better and he is not. I am seeing his flaws more and I feel like I can't stop rolling my eyes when he goes into a 30 minute tangent about how his life is so hard. He asks me not to judge him and won't let me ask questions about his life without freaking out every time. I feel like he is forcing me to "judge him" because I end up being so annoyed by his comments after I bring something up!
The worst part is he says he is sick of fighting and blames me for judging him. I ask to stop but he makes more comments I find hard to ignore and at some point he says I am the one who will not stop and he is a victim or something. We tend to fight for as long as 2 hours and it always feels like the same fight. I find this unbelievable because I felt so strongly about him for over a year now. The problem is just getting worse, or perhaps I had love blinders on?
He had a rough childhood that I personally believe made him this way. In the beginning our relationship was great and I felt so happy. Over time I started realizing he was so full of this fear that we are in some kind of stand still never moving forward. We are doing a long distance thing but I don't know if that matters. It did not matter in the beginning if it does now. It is also worth mentioning I am almost 10 years older than he is.
Do I love him? I have thought so for a while. Lately I ponder this more and more. This is slowly killing my feelings for him. Is my situation hopeless? It feels like it is.
Since you are not a therapist and he sees everything you say as criticism, how about making sure he sees a Professional Counselor?
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