INTP boyfriend issues
I just started dating my boyfriend a little under two months ago. While things were great at first, I noticed problems in our relationship starting to arise. He has trust issues from previous relationships and It is my belief that they are spilling over into ours. He has to know where I'm at or what I'm doing at all times so we can be "in sync" so he says.
Every time we get into a fight, it seems its because I bring something up that is bothering me or that i'm concerned about and he gets really mad that I didn't bring it up earlier and accuses me of not being "forthright". I admit that I've got the whole Mennonite agreeability curse, but it doesn't always occur to me to say things right away. He doesn't get that or accept it and I feel as though we just keep fighting over the same thing: Me not saying something until later (even if its later that day its not good enough) and him accusing me of telling him white lies and sugar coating things to avoid conflict. While some of that may be true, it doesn't feel like I'm being inauthentic or anything. I just bring things up when they start to become an issue.
I feel like he cares less about my feelings when we are fighting and more about proving me wrong. This may be his INTP personality coming into play. I have no idea. But he refuses to talk to me on the phone or in person when we fight and just texts me in circles all the things im doing that are wrong and picks every sentence apart, drawing HIS OWN conclusions about what i've said rather than trusting what I TELL HIM to be true.
How can I build trust with him? How can i feel comfortable telling him problems if he just freaks out? How can I fight with him in a way to deflect his false claims and attacks?
*sigh* Im running out of ideas. And out of energy.
If it's only been two months and it already like this? You can't communicate, he doesn't trust you, is controlling? End it. He is not the right guy for you. All these things will not go away. His trust issues from previous hurts and spilling into your relationship. He needs time alone to get things right with in himself.
Do not put up with this kind of behavior it is not loving. End it, say adios, and go find someone you can be madly in love with, trust me if its right, that kind of fighting should take at least a year before it happens.