Family boyfriend and religion
PROBLEMSPROBLEMSPR - May 23 2016 at 15:12
I have very religious family very very religious but i dont believe anything and i cant say them also our familybrelations are so close for example i am very close with my granny s cousin s something so leaving my family is a big deal... My family dont drink alcohol dont eat some foods and they dont wear normal clothes and they want me to be like them but i am not and i cant say them that i drink alcohol and i eat forbidden foods and i have sex also i cant wear what i want but sometimes i wear secretly. In addition, my boyfriend is not religious and neither his family. So i said my mom that i am not in relationship with him but we are so close and we want to be married after graduation. Also my boyfriend doesnt know my family is how religious he thinks they are normal religious.
I am sorry for my english it is not my mother tounge
You need to honest with yourself and your BF. At some point your two worlds will collide. You have a right to live your life, so be prepared to make some hard choices. Knowing the hardship you will face about marriage with your family being up front and honest with your BF is the first step.
How old are you? Are you graduation from College? Would your family ever accept him into your family? Own your truth.
I would advise for you to accept that you are who you are and not feel guilty about it first. Your family will love you and I am not saying they will agree with you or understand everything but as you become an adult and move away it is normal that you don´t have to consult all your day to day decisions with your family.
Think about how they probably already accept some of your ways already so you have to slowly, one step at a time win your battles with them and as you grow older they don´t need to be consulted about everything.
Be honest with your boyfriend about your family, specially if you are thinking about marrying him, because if not, it is going to be a shock when he goes to your folk´s. Prepare him. Prepare them. They might all surprise you and accept each other but you need to introduce the idea of him as a friend/possible partner and test the water.
Think about whether you would consider marrying if this situation wasn´t happening and if you are not just trying to get away.