Naive and unsure
So, I'm 23 and never been in a relationship. In fact its quite uncommon for me to have feelings for a guy. (never a girl) I only state this to demonstrate just how inexperienced I am. Over the past few months I got to know a guy as a friend and pretty quickly developed feelings for him. After a month or two of shy flirting a drunkly asked if he had any in return, he said he as still getting to know me. I took it for nice guy rejection and went right back to being friends. The flirting didn't in fact top, it was more obvious. It got to the point that most of our club had assumed something was going on. Conversation got deeper and signs got more muddled. Still, I told myself he does not feel the same way and sttempted to move on. I had nearly succeeded until, admitted m roommate and a roomful of people that he did like me, but he as just shy, he is painfully shy. THis very drunken conversation happened while I was out on a beer run. He later told my friend that while he was aware that I had feelings for him, he still believed that he missed his chance and waited to long. My friend informed me as soon as I returned unfortunately he had already left, in my less than sober state I decided to text him about it. It came off more aggressive than I meant and luckly he had the good sense to wait to respond until morning. With avoidance, and has since started avoiding me. To the point of not responding to group invites or chats that he normaly would.
At this point I'm even more at a loss. Can these really be the actions of a man that likes me, he's just really that shy, or is it clear he does not? Is there a way to at least salvage the friendship, if not more? I really don't want to lose him, his become a big part of my life, but I also kinda want to scream at him for a good five minutes. I relize I am being childish and foolish but I just have no experience here.
At this point, instead of tip-toeing around the issue, I would call and invite him to meet up just you and him. A favorite hang out where ever you guys are comfortable. Then just talk to him and tell him everything you said here. Say you have feelings for him and you haven't for many people and are interested in it becoming more then a friendship. Will it be really hard and awkward? Yes, most definitely. It is the only way you will know for sure. If his response is the same as before, he's not done getting to know you, then move on.
There are some risks in this approach, it will definitely effect your friendship. But if his response is he doesn't like you like that, then just so okay cool then we can just be friends. Then all the tension and the elephant in the room is in the open and you can both move forward. One way or another. And if he does reject, I'm not saying it won't sting, but it means there is another person out there for you. Just be happy you are a strong enough person to be alone and wait for something magnificent, instead of going with something so-so just so you aren't alone.