Three years ago new neighbours moved in. They were already known to be troublesome at their previous address in the next village. Almost immediately I had to call the police when he pushed his way into my house late at night to make a complaint about our dogs barking, a situation of his own creation when he drunkenly shouted through the hedge at them. The police took action against him by way of a restorative justice order.
My OTHER neighbour ( a pleasant but meddlesome type who is a High Court judge who sees no problem as being unworthy of his attention ) offered to mediate between the two parties, but I elected not to avail myself of this since I was too aggrieved, having been injured in the incident and also irritated at the failure of the police to take the matter seriously enough. I did NOT want mediation conducted by a neighbour whom I saw as being immature and naive albeit well meaning. His excuse for wishing to mediate was that " we don't want things like this happening in the village ! ".
Two years passed and I accepted a year long contract in Hong Kong. No problems with the aggressive neighbour had arisen in the interim, although it is safe to say that no love was lost between us.
At the expiration of the contract I found out upon my return that the meddlesome mediator neighbour had pressurised my wife and teenage daughter to attend a mediation session at his house with the aggressive neighbours ; this was despite my refusing his original offer and two years of incident free time passing. My not being present was divisive, sidelined me and gave my aggressive neighbours an opportunity to turn the situation to their advantage. At NO time did ANYONE tell me of this until I returned from abroad and I am absolutely incensed by it and feel like telling him so. However, the way of the World nowadays is to grin and bear it. Which is best ?
I vote for bear it it's done and over.
It depends on whether it had any real and lasting, negative/exacerbative impact. Did it? I mean, 'turned the situation to their advantage' in what way?
Also is there a reason your wife did not inform you of what was happening?