I got talking to this guy on a dating site a few months back. I found it a little weird after 2 weeks he hadn't given his phone number or asked for mine. One particular day I gave mine and said he could text me as I had to go for the day.
I never got a text and when I came back he just said he had run into some crazy girls on the site before so didn't want to give out his number right away, and we continued to chat through the site.
After 6 weeks I was tired of it. He kept telling me he wanted to tell me something but wasn't ready yet. He kept saying we connected so well. We had skyped each other so we could see each other and had conversations on skype for hours.
After I still didn't know his last name, his number or anything about him I told him I was kind of over us talking and not meeting and I didn't want to waste time anymore. He then just came out with it. He said he was married, he found out she had been talking to some other man and she said nothing happened with them, but she missed the spark. He said he found the calls to some random number on the phone records, so he decided to get on this dating site to just see what was out there.
I told him I really didn't appreciate being lied to but if he ever was single in the future he could reach out again and if I was single maybe we could see what we could have. He said he wanted to continuing talking as friends, was leaving her, and he really wanted to pursue us because he thought we had something that really had potential.
We kept talking as friends but it didn't really work out too well. I noticed he was still always on the dating site and basically said to him I feel like he is still looking and chatting up other women and it isn't right, especially as he basically told me he was falling for me.
Recently I decided to just stop talking to him because it was the best for me. I know that everything about this would have probably ended badly, and he hasn't actually even been online since I decided to not respond to him anymore, and I still miss talking to him after everything. I don't know what is wrong with me. I fantasize about him all the time but we have never met. I still miss talking to him but he lied from the start. I am wondering how to move forward because I can't stop thinking about him. I feel stupid too because we never met.
You fantasise about him BECAUSE you and he never met.
Although, actually, you did. In a way. For example, you know the following facts and extrapolations:
1. His solution to his wife wandering off due to lack of continuation of marital wooing by him ("the spark"
is to [wait for it] WORSE than fully hypocrisise himself by childishly batting back, like-for-like. It should, surely, be to take stock of his lately (always?) neglectful ways and remedy the situation. So that's how he deals with a disenchanted lover. Great!
Note WHAT he's batting back: JUST TALKING/NOTHING BEYOND ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
2. And we can safely assume it was HE who turned her off him in the first place, going by his idea of 'brilliant solution' at alleged Crunch Time. Great again!
3. He has no problem conning women into having a relationship with him and selling them copious, serious lies. Great! And if he could get away with it right from the off, why on earth wouldn't he want to *continue* that habit once actually in the relationship? Is that why she wandered off?...In disgust?
4. He thinks he can tell that you, a virtual stranger whom he's never met or spent more than a few minutes or hours at a time with (and then only merely chatting), are a better bet, pursual-wise, than the very wife he's known intimately and built up a whole life and lifestyle with for XX years. Ollocks! That's just him running away from the problem and duping you in the process so as to have something to run (half-run) *to*.
So he just runs away from meaty problems and/or is hell-bent on childishly and vindictively evening the playing field, even if to do so means LOWERING IT. Great! So if you *did* become her replacement and dare ever complain or fail to lick his feet no matter how he systematically behaved... [insert bleedin' obvious].
5. You have absolutely ZERO proof or real basis for believing what he says. For all you know, his wife thinks everything's hunky-dory as normal and has no idea there's even any problem! (I'm sure there isn't.) In fact, you don't even know if he has a wife at all! (E.g. skyping: "she" could at some point have walked in on the pair of you, couldn't she; didn't that worry him? Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice...)
6. He indisputably disproved his ollocks about you and he having a special connection (inference being, exceptional circumstance behind (cough!) exceptional transgression) by still chatting-up other candidates.
(I *could* go on...)
News for you: he was *always* chatting to loads of other women on there (as well, playing them that same, sad yet successful violin rendition). It's called Player and textbook player tactics. And PS: oh, yes, he will still be online. Just not using that old profile or not using/not solely using that one, same site (for a while). Do a search based on his age and location, etc., rather than user-name, and see what you find.
You may have fancied his head and shoulders, but the rest of him is clearly just plain UGH!
Still feel like using the memory of him as fantasy fodder? Or would you prefer to *not* tar other future potentials with his same brush as makes you stay safely cowering indoors with only a vague visual for company, and get back on the horse?
You're not 'stupid', you're  just reeling and put off the thought of continuing your expedition to find yourself a (available, exclusive and committed) boyfriend, not least from a naivety you didn't even expect you ideally shouldn't have(!), and  making yourself mentally and emotionally unavailable (as is detectable via your whole vibe and demeanour) to any perfectly nice and decent, available men out there.
Great. So you're going to let this disgusting creep do even more damage to you than he has already and more than is necessary, are you?