Help needed! Girlfriend invited to party with people I don't know
So about last week, my girlfriend was invited to a party by someone from her school ( we go to different high schools because she applied to a program). This party would be tomorrow if she were to go. Naturally, I don't know the people there. She asked me if I wanted to go, but not feeling comfortable being around strangers (I'm not the most outgoing person), and also because I most likely would be unable to go anyway, I declined. However, since I won't be there, this brings up another problem.
As I'm sure you're aware, drugs and alcohol are a huge problem among teens, and in the past she has expressed an interest in such substances. Understanding the dangers, I had a conversation with her about it, hoping to convince her otherwise. In the end, she agreed not to get involved with those things.
However, she has been known to lose resolve, and I'm still working on her cutting problem (which is much less prevalent now, but once in a while still occurs). This being said, at a party which most likely will have substance abuse involved, without me there, with people I don't know and can't trust, I'm scared she might make a choice that will hurt her in the long run.
So I don't know what to do. One side of me says to not worry about it, both because I should be able to trust her to make the right decisions but also because I'm her boyfriend, not her baby sitter. However, the other side of me is very concerned because these things could have a huge effect on her life, and I worry for her. So what should I do? Should I just let it be? Or should I take measures to make sure she stays safe? If so, how do I go about doing that?
Mixing drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, sense of freedom with a person who has known to lose resolve you should be concern.
It's not should you go, you need to go with her. This is what BF do"protect" their girl. This is not about you and your comfortableness around people,i's about making sure she stays safe by going with her.
Can you do this?
I agree. Ordinarily, I would say, she sounds as if she needs a counsellor, rather than a relationship, but since you chose to get involved with her to that degree in the first place then - involved you now are and do your relationship duty you must.
However, chaperoning your girlfriend like would any boyfriend is one thing. Acting like you're her THERAPIST ("still working on her cutting problem"), however - even *if* you were a qualified professional with specialism in that field (which you're not) - is another kettle of fish entirely, one that's only going to create unnecessary complications later and which has no place in a romantic relationship.
Bear that in mind. Ideally, *as* her boyfriend, you should do all you can, lovingly and supportively, to persuade her to see her GP for a referral *so that* a qualified therapist can get to the bottom of it with her and send it packing, so to speak. Because if taking drugs is a development 'up' from cutting then whatever root issue behind it is obviously starting to weigh more heavily on her as she goes.
You should do it and live new experience
AVERAGETEEN, how did the party go? Were you there?