Caught in between two girls
Currently i live in th UK and I have a girlfriend of 6 years back in my native country. due to employment reasons we have to endure the long distance relationship. Now here comes my problem: we came here as a group who already knew each other more as an aquaintance. now there is this certain girl in the group that i was able to chat with back home and during the long flight coming to UK, i was surprised that we both share a lot of similarities with each other, hence making it easier for us to talk more openly. Afterwhich, we spent a lot of time together since both of us work and live in a small town. This is where i started to fall for her. She is aware that i have a girlfriend but does not know how i feel for her. Although she and i have a much similar "mental-wavelength", i wont risk my relationship with my girlfriend. Just need help on how i should tell her of my feelings without compromising our friendship? Aside from relieving myself from this bottled ip emotion, i feel that i should tell her so she could help me set some boundaries.
hi there, thanks you so much for sharing. well, i totally understand your position in this case. You wont risk your relationship with your girlfriend. To me that's commitment and love to your girlfriend. However i like to inform you that being mentally connected to someone does not mean they are suitable mates for you. Let me give you some of the tips you can employ to help you out of your situation.
1. Be honest - be kind. One of the most difficult types of break-up is where a person is left hanging as to the reason. Even though it hurts, the truth, shared kindly, will invariably hurt less than the haunting questions raised when no reason is given
2. Soften the blow. give an advance warning and an opportunity to prepare for the emotional crisis
3. Choose an appropriate time. this is very important
4. Admit your own failings and inadequacies.
Just in case you need some free advice and guidance, you check out http://www.honestlove.netau.net
You also get good guidance there, thank you so much. i hope the little i have provided helps.
To doyleked. Thanks a lot for the advice. Im not really saying that shes my soulmates due to the connection. Its more like due to the connection, getting to know her is much easier therefore why i fell. Anyways. Big thanks for your insight
In my opinion, the most important thing is for you to think long and hard whether you still love your gf (and I am not saying you are not). If you are with her out of habit or because you wish to play it safe, then this is not fair to her nor to you. Sometimes long distance relationships work, and sometimes they don't. So if you are sure of your love, occasional crushes can still happen. It is slightly trickier in your case because you see this crush on a daily basis, leaving a lot of space for more feelings to develop. I don't think you should tell this girl you have a crush on her (again, just my opinion). Two things can happen. She either doesn't feel this way about you, things are going to become a lot more awkward, and it is not exactly her job to set the boundaries with you. Or she does feel this way about you, and then you are setting yourself up for a lot trickier situation where she might feel confident enough to act on her feelings for you. If you are sure you love your gf, then you are going to have to make your relationship with this crush strictly professional, even at the cost of become so annoying to her personally she wouldn't think of hanging out with you outside of work, at least until you are over your infatuation. This is, as I said, just my opinion. Good luck