PeoplesProblems Logo

Have to turn down my friend without loosing him

Default profile image
My crush has asked me to date him, but it will be a cold day in hell when it could work out.

I'm not going to give alot of details about why we can't date, but mostly we have vastly different morals, I can't date him without moving away from my college (which has my very niche field as well as several scholarships which I NEED) and dating this particular person would ruin my family's trust and friendship with me.

He doesn't really like me like that, he just wants someone who won't dump him like his ex did. He knows I would probably stay in a relationship with him long past a healty point IF he could get me into it. He also knows that I have a crush on him. He has asked me in the past, when I turn him down he doesn't act mad but he doesn't answer his texts for a while. He drops hints about me dating him fairly regularly.

He has just asked me again and he isn't answering his texts now, I just want to know if there is any good way to keep his friendship without throwing everything out the window and dating him. He is my closest friend and the only person I can talk to about virtually anything (except for this) and it would just kill me if he just decided to cut himself off from me.

Thank you

Have to turn down my friend without loosing him

Default profile image
Well, you probably already got this but you should tell him why, and then keep him really close... More reasons why you can't date would help but from what I hear this is your best bet. If you really love him say yes and tell him it will be complicated. If it's so-so, tell him no and why. If it's a no, then just say a no with plain explaination. Let your heart do everything, even if it is confused, or is splitting in different directions. You know your friend more than I do(。-_-。)

Good luck!!!

Have to turn down my friend without loosing him

Default profile image
Be open and honest with your friend. Honesty is key here.
You've got to be polite. Tell them you honour your friendship but don't see a relationship working right now.

Also ask him what he likes about you. If he honestly says he has feelings for then, there is hope the relationship could work.
You've got feelings for him. They need addressing.
You can say yes to him, but make it clear that he has to be 100% committed to the relationship.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?