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I'm in a very confusing situation. I've been romantically involved with a girl (not dating) for just over a month but she's been out of town for the past two weeks. Yesterday, my best friend and I got heated and wound up having sex; we had never been romantic before. Telling the first girl is out of the question. Also, my ex expressed interest in me earlier this summer but I'm not interested. To make this more confusing, the girl I'm romantically involved with and I have expressed concern about getting too close because we will both be attending different colleges in a few months and due to work and vacations this summer will have barely a month to spend together. I know this is a lot to digest, but it has been driving me crazy and I need some advice.

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If she's been out of town for the past two weeks then you've been romantically involved with her for just over two weeks, not a month. Although, I'm not sure it can even count as 'involved' if you and she haven't actually been dating. So really, you've just been interested in a girl and *trying* to get involved with her to point of boyfriend-girlfriend.

Well, that would definitely trigger your libido into action and the expectation of getting s*x, yes, so I'm not surprised you being primed + bessie mate being primed + both being in the right place at just the right time would amount to the pair of you 'using' each other like that. I doubt that's a problem (unless bessie mate is now making eyes at you?).


If you're not interested in your ex then she's immaterial and not worth mentioning in terms of where the confusion's coming from...unless you mention it because of how it had re-agitated to the surface certain past feelings or issues and/or had reminded you of how plenty of other women see you as a catch (so why not this current girl and 'circumstances be damned!')?

The chemistry between you and she obviously isn't strong enough to outweigh the obstacle of suspected futility (soon to go separate ways). Could it anyway, in the face of that circumstance, enough to alter such an important course as going to college?

So *what* is driving you crazy, specifically? The fact you feel like you cheated on this girl or suspect she'll see it like you did? That's neither possible nor fair-minded, not unless you and the girl concerned are an official item under the mutually-explicit understanding of being exclusive and committed lovers. Until a couple is, either one is at perfect liberty to 'date around' or 'multi-date' (whatever you want to call it).

So the Free Agent did a Free Agent thing.

Does that help?

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